The scary thing is that the only thing in between Scientology (or Mormonism, or any other newer religion) and respectability is the passage of a thousand years or so. Look at the claims made against Christianity (orgies! Cannibalism!) in its first couple of hundred years. 

Restaurants that only take cash? What is this, 1980?

What am I missing in the illustration? Is there a visual pun I'm not seeing? Thanks 

1) Sam the “Tipper” is scum.

Creme eggs are worse than Hitler.

The friend’s sister deserved to be eaten by shrieking eels on the boat ride to the island.

Excellent phonetic spelling, theñor!

Jordan’s friend who's getting married is a complete and utter asshole-douchebag.

God, this would be so amazing. Not sure if I can do it. :-( 

My wife watches the GBBO, and I pay tangential attention. What I like is that the contestants seem to be genuinely supportive of each other. 

“Red Mars” -- Oh god. I finished it. But only because I used to think that giving up on a book was a bad thing. I made no attempt that the second or third volumes. I gave “New York: 2140" about 30 pages before I blissfully quit. I think Robinson is one of the more overrated writers out there. 

JESUS H. MOTHER-EFFING CHRIST. 

OH JESUS H. CHRIST! THE SECOND TO LAST! THE SECOND TO LAST!!!

Wait. You’re “leaving the company” for good, or just -- ha, ha -- “see you next year” leaving?

That Tomlin GIF is going to cause many seizures. It almost gave me one, and I'm neurologically normal (well, relatively speaking). 

My wife watches that show. What I have learned via the osmosis of being in the same room while she watches it:

Yes. But. The Dirty Poors can ride the existing trains. 

Oh please oh please oh please someone suggest we use Segways in the tunnels!

Let’s not bring sexual orientation into this. 

That’s IT? That’s really his whole concept? There’s NOTHING more to it?