Grrrr, grit grit grit.

Yeah, he was probably off somewhere spending time with his family.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

Track: Ascension | Artist: Tycho | Album: Dive

^^^

I mean.... I’m no expert on Furby, but I’d guess this thing is nowhere near as good as a furby in bed.

My niece has never liked any toys that talked or made weird sounds. She’d look at them suspiciously, and then back away saying “No?”. Then she’d shake and scream if it kept up.

Apparently, the first coming happens after the hatchimal finishes it’s sexual breathing and asking you to fuck it.

Perhaps this one picked up that particular breathing pattern and vocalizations while hidden away in mom and dad’s closet before Christmas?

so its pretty much like Furby, except Furby also give you dirty sexual looks.

It’s saying “Fuck me, you should have gotten the NES Classic instead, dipshit.”

“What’s wrong with this dude though?”

I mean, sure, she could probably find some gold-digging asshole.

Things my three cats have pulled this year:

I had a very similar definitional debate with a very good friend regarding the word, “judgment”.

I can’t imagine a worse reason to maintain a relationship – or bring children into the world – than my perceived financial self-interest.

And yet those same fates happen just as often to people who are married and have children. I think it would be a lot worse to be sitting there alone in the nursing home knowing your immediate family doesn’t care about you.

This is the sound of one hand crapping

David Attenborough