See, I knew someone will do this. Yeah, I actually did commented, I know, so what? :D

The history lesson should have mentioned the N64 and GameCube controllers — both get rid of the Select button and the GCN takes it a step further and renames Start to "Start/Pause." They realized you don't need more than one button like this (though the Wii did bring it back up).

OK I AM REALLY FREAKING OUT HERE BECAUSE I PREDICTED YAYA WOULD GET THIS ROLE.

For shame. Used to be it was every high school kid's dream to get with the hot coach. Meant you were a man amongst boys. Now, alls these punks want is to ensure healthy adolescent development through the formation of positive mentor-student relationships without the specter of unwanted or unconsentable sexual…

This was a triumph.

If you found this interesting, I would recommend checking out this awe-inspiring glitched run of Super Mario World done by a TASbot at AGDQ 2014.

Persona meets Seinfeld screenshot.

I'd been doing something similar, tapping accelerate until halfway between 2 and 1, which I had ingrained as the right way to do it from a past game. (Maybe it was Mario Kart 64?)

jokes and jokes and jokes. that whole paragraph was like the 22 Jump Street of game journalism. <— that sentence was also a joke, by the way. I'm not an extremely serious person.

More like a wolf from WASHDOGS, am I right?

The best thing to do is make a "Defying Gravity" joke and let it go.

I WAS THERE, MARK. She sang barefoot. And then we all sang along to 'No Day But Today' and the guy next to me told me I had a great voice. #livingthedream #flawless

Immediately after this, his 13 and 15 year old sons went to their rooms and got back on XHamster using the wifi their dad pays for.

The Journal News went WAAAYYYYYYY deep into the rabbit hole on this one. V.V. much recommended reading.

I actually was riveted by this coverage by the Journal News. Read everything they had in one sitting on Lohud.com. This woman is nuts. A master manipulator. You could make this up - it reads like an SVU episode. Except Olivia didn't get to save the day.