Hey, I don’t know what’s the big deal here. Myles Garrett is an elite athlete playing in the NFL, which is supposed to be the premiere sports league in the US of A. If he can’t bend the laws of gravity to suit his needs during a play, then that is on him, not on the new rule.

the Hardlands sound like a place you have to cross on your way to Mordor

That slogan is perfectly apt for the worst sports franchise in 2018 America: it’s so absurd that no attempt to mock it could possibly be worse.

Geographically incorrect and yet still spot on...

Someone made a real boner with that slogan.

I’d have gone with something more topical

If your hardland persists for more than three hours, consult a medical professional.

Well played, sir. Well played.

Au contraire, I’m thinking not enough people have seen that.

Ah good old GM quality right there.

You’re confusing price and value. They are two different things.

I think if the Browns really think about it, I can go 0-16 better than just about anyone out there. That’s a bargain at any price.

He can go pro or play in Cleveland, but not both

He really should be making plans to get his PhD if he wants to avoid the Browns.

The Boise Hash Browns.

Never sad for Drumpf. Never ever ever. He’s the biggest tiny dick on the planet.

I have more complex sads.

If my boss called me into his office, cleared the room, shut the door and looked me in the eye and said “I hope you can get this done by the end of the day” IT’S FUCKING GETTING DONE BY THE END OF THE DAY. Never mind the most powerful person in the world, the President of the United States.

If the person who can fire you begins a statement with “I hope you can” 99.9% of the population knows that really means “Do this or you’re fired” and we know this is what Trump meant BECAUSE THEN HE FIRED HIM FOR NOT DOING IT.

I think it's uber-cool & refreshing how private Jackie was when she was alive. Seriously, aside from J.D. Salinger, I cannot think of anyone else who waved a big ol' fuck off to the public & press. We now live in a time of celebs & wanna be celebs inviting the press into their bedrooms if it means bigger sales of…