I’ll have to check that out

When you put it that way, damn I wish this was a workable strategy lolol.

my new favourite break up song

What you should feel most nauseous about is your implied support for capital punishment.

There ya go. All these people with all this you better stand for the anthem and don’t burn flags and vote for Trump bullshit are full of shit. You’re a patriot, serve in the military. Pay taxes. I’ve done both. Other people found a way out of it.

Bro, just shut the fuck up. You’re only making yourself sound like dumbass.

You’re fucking kidding me, right? You have to pay taxes because it’s the law. And you know why you pay taxes? To pay for infrastructure. Like roads. Police. The fire department. Defense. The fucking military. If you make more, you pay more. That’s how the system is supposed to work. It’s not a fucking maze that only…

“Young lady who do you think you are? I am a white male born in these United States and argle-bargledy-boop!!!!”

It’s like trying to feel bad for somebody who bought swampland in Florida, only everybody he knew was telling him it was swampland, and he went down and visited it and all the alligators formed a chorus line and sang WELCOME TO SWAMPLAND, and he parked a trailer on it and the swamp swallowed it up and formed itself…

Baseball is the only sport that actually looks like America.

That feeling when a ressurected Jesus Christ would get along better with Satanists than a good 95 percent of his own flock.

Is the Murano CrossCabriolet not enough to satiate your disgusting desires?

Oh good, I can stop thinking Mitt Romney isn’t so bad.

I’ve said it over and over again; neither I nor any other sane person has to show tolerance for people’s intolerance. And yeah, that means I’m not going to tolerate your sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. And if you don’t like that? Go fuck yourself. Because I also don’t have to be polite about my disdain …

The word “imbecile” is very underused. I like using it myself, after hearing David Suchet as Hercule Poirot say it with a Belgian accent on TV.

Never let facts get in the way of your need to sound the Horn of Smarm concerning “games journalism”:

Any serious discussion of gun laws doesn’t involve blanketing either side with blame,

Someone get Tom Ford a fainting couch; or get me one, because he’s exhausting me with this shit.

Anyone who has more than 2 drinks at a “party” (as defined above), is in fact a tiresome drunk that I can look down on as I sip my glass of water and then smugly go home.

Then go home. In fact, don’t come.