I had a client who was a pretty dedicated AMG guy. He traded in his E63 when he test-drove a used Tesla P75 or 80, not even the top line. He said NOTHING can prepare you for how these things accelerate, just this unreal feeling of nearly instant silent 100mph from the on-ramp.

I think we should have multiple tiered licenses. It’s also amazing to me that the same certification I got 28 years ago allows me to drive anything from a Versa to the big UHaul to a lifted bro-dozer to a Veyron to a motorhome actually longer than my house. That’s nuts.

It doesn’t matter if he is the biggest drug dealer in all of Ohio. It doesn’t matter if he was on his way to read Winnie The Pooh to blind transgender orphans.

Oh, absolutely 0ne-hundo, fam. While it’s harder to figure out the deals of the scam, since I’m not a rich colossal asshole, the old “Buy company, saddle with debt, take profits as personal income, default on debt, declare bankruptcy, sell myself leftover assets for $1 (aka “That Old Sears 2-step)“ is a viable path to…

Haha. Mine was really polite agreeable smile and “Sure thing, boss, absolutely” and 95% of the time knew if they were gonna do it before they did. I was never trained in any combat art, just raised as a ridiculously dirty fighter who hated getting punched in the face. But the real “aha” moment was when you could size…

The gay bar in my hometown was across the street from the art school several of my girlfriends attended (23yo me had a type..), and they had a super-solid $4.99 burger-and-fries lunch special. Probably 3/4 of the time I spent there was eating those.

I’m a pretty big dude. Back when I was a bouncer, and much more fit, the whole job is basically reading body language and all kinds of stupid primate posturing. When you’re that hyper-cognizant of it, it’s amazing how often you see backward cap bros try and take somebody down a peg for literally no other reason than…

The flip side of those is “The Nazis were awesome and amazing at everything! Well, except killing people at industrial scale. Really mediocre at that... but best in every other way I can imagine!”

I was like, a little bit excited, since I never had an N64? And then I read this, and I was not the tiniest bit excited at all anymore.

Yo dawg, same here.

Yes, but if I was GameStop/Target/Best Buy/whoever, I’d want to have them in my store to buy those accessories and games when they pick up their console. If they have to sit at home and buy from a scalper, Amazon or my other dozen online competitors mean I have a 5-10% chance they’ll click on me for those.

There used to be a block with ATK, New Scandinavian Cooking, and Simply Ming that played right as I was getting up (worked at bars) that was a great way to start my day.

Their app was my pandemic gift to myself. $50 a year if you catch it on sale for access to ATK, Cook’s Country, and Cook’s Illustrated, and (mostly) searchable by ingredient. Only problem is now that I have it I never want to cancel - I just consider it a utility.

That guy sounds like a fucking sociopath, and if I was his immediate superior I’d fire him on any pretext I could before I got a knife in my back.

I watched like two episodes of “Bobby Flay Shows Up And Tells You You’re A Piece Of Shit And That He Can Cook Nonna’s Meatloaf Better Than You, You Worthless Fuckface Douchebag” and decided that was more than enough Bobby Flay for me.

The brand of progressivism that involves stopping people from doing a thing they like, or taking something away from people, is my least favorite kind

I do think that comedy should feel dangerous, but holy shit in the year of our lord 2021 is there anything lazier and less dangerous than “HEY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH QUEERS I MEAN ARE THEY WEIRD OR WHAT?”

A skilled comedian can do super-edgy and outrageous material with nothing more than timing and perspective. A reshot version of “Blazing Saddles” could very easily be the laziest and most vile movie ever made, and I can easily understand people who are uncomfortable with the version that exists.

100 stars for sealions.

Flay’s whole schtick of “I show up and tell you you’re a piece of shit and I’m going to make your grandma’s meatloaf better than you ever will” was excruciatingly grating. If I owned a restaurant and he showed up with a camera crew I’d chase him off with a cast-iron skillet to the head before I let them film.