15 mustards? good grief, man. consider yourself judged.

i was just fucking around (this is gawker). i have nothing but admiration for the man, and i’ll never accomplish a tenth, never mind your generous “nearly as much.”

sadly, that was 3 generations ago...

right after 9/11, crossing the George Washington bridge, dropped my bike looking at the smoke coming from the towers. split a bone in my leg just below the knee, still have the plate in it. the bandages from the operation caused rotting flesh, which gave me vitiligo. it has covered half my body by now. luckily i’m…

you voted for him, kentucky. enjoy...! dumbasses.

I suspect it is easier for givers to receive than it is for takers to give.

snorked.

I’m really happy you did this revenge one, rather than stories about horrible customers. They always depress the fuck out of me.

... that escalated quickly..

captured perfectly.

def run defrag on your hard drive. that’ll fix everything.

fish have feelings too, you bastard!!!!

if by by “could” you mean “can’t,” then totally. and that goes for either of them. just. not. gonna. happen.

yea, the thing is, every now and again, one can see a legitimate reason for the death penalty. you know, the jeffrey dahmers of the world. the charles mansons. the ted cruzes...

you had me there until “could.”

so if you figure you can insinuate my wife acts entitled, it’s ok if i assume your parents were poor slobs who didn’t buy you squat, right? is that how this works?

1000% that.

my wife was given a car when she turned 16. she put a picture of her then boyfriend on the console in front of the heat & oil gauges. she drove it until the engine literally caught fire. luckily nobody got hurt.

just as accurate, not far more accurate. they’re equally nuts. and stupid.

You firmly believe. I firmly hope. People are nuts, dude. An infinite variety of nuts.