Fifteen years? He's got a lot of weed ahead of him.

I TOLD YOU I WOULD PLEAT YOU! I TOLD YOU I WOULD PLEAT YOU UP!

These Three Stooges fellas are a real bunch of jerks when you consider it.

Aladdin really does have everything a kid wants in a movie: thrills, romance, William F. Buckley impressions.

Well, look no furter.

I quite relish them.

"If you're not careful, you'll get us all whacked. Ha ha! Body in a woodchipper."

I'm picturing an A Shot in the Dark scenario where everyone is naked but you can't see their junk because of the bushes or volleyballs in the foreground. But that's how I picture most things.

In Putin's Russia, network watches YOU.

Wet Cot Center

I think we all know how that tin roof got rusted.

Or he just built a shack there where he can get pissed on in privacy.

If only Elvis were alive — and running for president!

One for each ass cheek.

Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

Don't get me wrong. I like the movie. But the smeary 2005-era consumer-grade DV aesthetic is something that I'm glad Lynch left as a one-off experiment.

And a lot of awful black and white.

Don't forget the riveting scene where Tony Stark buys strawberries from a roadside vendor.

Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Bears were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what's your score of today's game?

Live by Night 2: Dead by Dawn