Yeah, you’re supposed to take it down to the creek (pronounced: crik) in accordance with the old ways.

I was gonna say the same thing. Be the great porn dust fairy for the three kids who are playing in the woods rather than on their various gaming systems.

It was like manna from heaven when my friends and I found a box of porn magazines along a trail in a big empty field we used to play in during middle school.

Yep that way Johnny Porno-stash, the wandering dirty hobo, can pick it up and distribute to all the forest preservers, train tracks and underpasses throughout the world so 12 year old boys can find it and learn. 

Totally. Go buy an old wooden trunk from the thrift store, put it in the woods somewhere with the porn stash inside, and walk away.

That seemed like such a weird question to me - is porn such an heirloom item that you’d obsess about finding it a good home?  It sounds like he’s trying to re-home a pet or something.  Then again, grief can do really strange things to people’s brains and thought processes, so I shouldn’t judge.  

Or like, a shop that sells porn? I don’t get why this is hard, even relatively smallish towns have some kind of sex shop and if your town doesn’t there must be one in a town close by (otherwise how did dad get the porn, was it smuggled in?) take it there, tell em your story or just leave it outside labelled free.

KHAAAAAAAN!

That why I’m getting cremated. 

It’s where the term “Graveyard Shift” comes from. They’d run strings attached to little bells down to the inside of caskets so that, if you woke up in a coffin, you could ring the bell and it was somebody’s job to hang around the graveyard all night listening for bells so he could come and dig you up. 

“No, it’s an electro-nuclear-magnet. It’s the next inevitable phase. Hmm...”

Wow. Nicely done.

I’m just kind of bored with the constant snark.

I like swapping the water with plain or vanilla greek yogurt.

I considered boxed brownie mixes the same way I think of recipes, they are just a guide or foundation for one to use. The liberal use of vanilla, nuts, caramel or peanut butter in any boxed brownies make them “my brownies”,

“Boxed mix brownies are pretty much flawless.”

Not even her giant cue ball eyes could get me in a theater seat for this early ‘90s reject.

Tencent also owns 5% of Activision Blizzard

Tencent also owns 5% of Activision Blizzard, who are also in the news for banning a Hearthstone player for supporting the Hong Kong protests.