Not even close. Shittsburgh for the win.

Your expectations for the female body are unrealistic you cis-scum.

You seem a little Goff your game lately.

I mean, learning how to hide fouls and penalties is part of playing defense when the opponent gains the advantage. Be mad at the refs, never the player for doing anything he can to win.

You deserve all the scorn you are dealt. In the wilderness since ‘09, give me a fucking break. Only a New Yorker would consider that to be a major drought. The majority of my city’s teams haven’t won in my lifetime, but you know what? I’m okay with it because I got to see one championship in my life and that will be…

Counterpoint: Zappa is great and you just don’t get it, maaan.

Oh god, I just realized your “friends” didn’t let you play wide receiver, insisting there be a center. I am so sorry.

Yes, in this imaginary situation, sure. Here’s my imaginary numbers: Curry is rated a 12 on offense, a 6 on defense. Kawhi is a 10 on defense and 7 on offense. It is close, but Curry is better.

How? Don’t answer that.

Sympathy not found. You can’t be a sadsack about rooting for the fucking Yankees. How are you that shortsighted? Oh, right, you’re a Yankees fan.

You, my friend, need to work on your foreplay. Make fun of the woman for 29 1/2 minutes and the next 30 seconds will be mind-blowing.

As a heavy drinker, 17 drinks is very easy to do for me. I’d say a typically Friday/Saturday is closer to 20. Also, I am told cocaine makes it easier to drink excessively. I have no personal experience. *looks around shiftily*

That is about 17 drinks, or what I like a call a tame Friday night.

RandomTangentiallyRelatedFactRobot: An airborne gaggle is called a gander.

This is Deadspin 101

Not not feeling him, he’s just not as good as Curry and Westbrook. I think Kawhi is better than him too, placing Durant at #5. Not really hating on him, he’s just (slightly) not as good as everyone seems to think. He also regularly chokes in the playoffs (so does Russ). I blame this on them and their style of play in…

Was it this good though? I remember him, don’t remember it being this good. Didn’t see him in the best post season ERAs so he either did not qualify (think it was 25 innings) or overall wasn’t as good. Bum is like 0.6 ERA, leagues better than the next closest, which I think is Rivera.

This take is nuanced and good.

What do you play, O-line? Everyone but one person plays receiver in pick-up games.

Your math is wrong and you are stupid. He would have pitched approximately 138.8571428571429 pitches through 9. Totally doable. Doable looks funny written out.