Please stay away from all dogs and other animals.  

Dude he's just saying the old version tasted better

This is why my favorite movie of this era is “Real Genius”. It mines a very similar space, except it casts the nerds as affable, clever, real and believable people as opposed to caricatures.

“After the O’s used nine actual, professional pitchers”

Relative to profits, wages have been stagnant for about four decades. An anecdote about wages of a few individuals doesn’t change that.

I’ve done this before at a few Cubs games. Haven’t figured out how to post on Youtube yet so I think I’m safe.

Fixed the New Orleans Pelicans logo for you.

You have Brad Marchand on your team and trying to talk shit about someone else being cheap? That’s adorable.

How’d you get the beer out of your camo bruins jersey after game 5?

Wait.  Doesn’t Boston celebrate their players getting tripped by Blues?

The first two rounds of the playoffs? Damn, is this a trick question?

When will Boston ever catch a break?

“ferried us far from the radioactive air of Chernobyl and the poisoned Ukranian countryside to a clean, insulated courtroom” LOL you do realize the courtroom was literally *in* the city of Chernobyl, right? As evidenced by the large chyron that said Chernobyl as they were driving to the courthouse.

It’s been like this for years. And it’s not even about adrenaline junkies, but about middle-aged rich dudes who can afford to pay all the fees and all the porters to carry all their shit to the top. And then, these super-serious “mountaineers” like nothing more than to look down their noses at all the broke-ass…

*Deep breath.*

The “actual resistance” is a joke in and of itself. Its made up of neoliberal con-artists who want a return to the Obama-era status quo, the type of people who show up at protests with snarky signs that say “if Hilary won, we’d be at brunch right now”. They’re not arguing for the abolition of poverty, the right to…

“Bran the Broken, Ruler of the Six Kingdoms!

“This finale is the Dexter of How I Met Your Mother’s own Battlestar Galactica.”

I was a hefty child with short legs and couldn’t consistently jump the boards.  But as long as I skated to the door in neutral zone, I didn’t get yelled at.