DNA.

Once again, he should’ve asked his son to SAY IT TO HER FAAAAAACE

I could ignite Deadspin’s audience by typing “tits” 300 times and hitting the publish button. It would definitely generate conversation, though it wouldn’t be a shock if my bosses asked me what the fuck I was doing.

I could ignite Deadspin’s audience by typing “tits” 300 times and hitting the publish button.

The human head weighs 8 pounds....just as relevant to this article

That is not what your name kinja name implies.

So, it looks like we’ve finally discovered what it takes to get the police to prosecute someone for accidentally shooting a black man.

Seeing how those Crystal Palace players are drawn, you’d think that would be a Chelsea fan’s worst nightmare.

Well, it’s right next to his number, so “1 week...” as in “1 Week Until Pitchers and Catchers Report” I presume?

You mean like the new gameplay mode that came out yesterday that this very article is describing?

He’s also the only candidate who’s stated publicly that he disagreed with the Civil Rights Act and whose newsletter warned of an upcoming “race war” that he and his father’s supporters should prepare themselves for. But yeah, he wants to legalize weed!

Rand Paul lost because his target constituency was holed up in an Oregon wildlife refuge for most of his candidacy and was unable to participate in polls or primaries.

You sound dumb and angry.

That is a spot on description of every Libertarian I’ve ever known.

He [Donald Trump] gets South Park—its cheap spite, its self-congratulation, the fantasy that privileged scorn for political correctness is subversive, rather than the exact opposite—better than the Pauls ever did...

Ironically, the best way to link such disparate entities with no apparent natural or obvious connection would be... an episode of South Park.

So is every Burneko article now just going to be a sneaky take down of a cartoon?

It’s funny to imagine a voting bloc made out of people who repeat “douche versus turd sandwich” like it’s actually a revolutionary take on the American political system.

I’ll put up with humiliation or having to come up with something to write on a card for free cake. (I also gave my phone number to Chipotle yesterday for a free burrito that has a slim chance of killing me, so you can see where my priorities stand.)

A “work” as opposed to a “shoot”.

This is carny talk (which in this day and age, has evolved to become pro-wrestling talk). A “work” is something that is planned or scripted beforehand, yet the audience doesn’t know it’s been planned as it’s happening in real time. A “shoot”, on the other hand, is something that…