Kinda think it’s shitty how people are so negative about the KUWTK resuming filming after ~only 3 weeks.~ Because of course there is never a good way to be a victim and if she doesn’t hole up and hide away forever, fuck her that attention-seeking whore. And whatever you may think about the Kardashians, these kinds of…

She’s all about the basic.

I can think of many greater gifts that a god can grant you, gifts that do not shit constantly or vomit or take all of your goddamn money.

I refuse to believe they are banging now.

It’s odd. I do like a lot of Coldplay’s songs, I just wish someone else were at the microphone. And I think he does most of their writing? By which I mean composing as well as lyrics. So it isn’t like the guy has no talent. Singing doesn’t happen to be part of it is all.

It’s a very low bar, but they’re both better singers than their father. I should say, I don’t hate Chris, himself, as a consciously uncoupled being; he seems to be a genuinely nice guy, and thoroughly devoted to the kids. Would probably like him in person. He just can’t fucking sing. The kids, on the other hand,…

Heard that a lot growing up, did ya?

Still better than Lars Ulrich ...

Because these children dress like actually children unlike the kardashian kids who look terribly uncomfortable at all times...

Uhhhh that’s athleisure

I’ll have you know those aren’t just any pajamas. They’re vucana wool. From a sheep that can only be shorn every 3 years by a blind farmer deep in the woods of Brigadoon.

I wish my parents were rich and famous so they could finance my Beck-backed karaoke dreams :(

Page Six reports that while Joan’s daughter Melissa Rivers “initially cooperated with the book,” she eventually decided put the kibosh on interviews with its author, Leslie Bennetts. Why? Well, maybe because the book isn’t entirely kind to her. One reason for this could be that, per a source, many friends of the late…

How about you don’t grab them anywhere. Not the pussy, the brain, or anything in between.

I recently empowered my female dog to not barf her expensive prescription food all over the kitchen floor. She embraced the empowerment and barfed outside.

I’d rather just have a dude grab me by the pussy and be done with it. Being grabbed by the brain sounds like it would have more long-term and possibly deadly consequences.

I know I love empowering females. Female kittens, female rabbits, female goats, female cannabis plants, female ducks. YOU NAME IT!

Guys, my (Latino) husband doesn’t know it yet because he’s not home, but our couples Halloween costume is now Nasty Woman and Bad Hombre, this nightmare election is finally giving me something useful.

We are so grateful in the UK that you knocked Brexit to the “And finally...” section of the 2016 history books.

“America: Singlehandedly Making Brexit Look Not So Bad On The ‘Fucking Disaster’ Scale”