At least it wasn’t “It’s a Small World.” Cause that song would have resulted in horror movie levels of carnage among trapped passengers.

If I had a home with a pool and a cat who liked to swim in it, I’d be set for life. That’s like all of my life goals, right there.

And she would say, ‘Sell that dress! Sell that tiara! Do you know how many people it could feed?”.

Act like a lady, completely fuck up like a man.

You mean like using DNC money to buy herself clothes? Or losing the gubernatorial race in Florida by insulating the establishment’s preferred candidate?

However, there was some encouraging news in that poll. Only 13 percent of those who want to destroy ISIS also believe that the U.S. should launch a drone strike on Downton Abbey and kill Lord Crawley.

Here’s the thing.

I’m sorry, the Jets-Cowboys have a rivalry? A heated one, at that?

lol @ “fox rabies” hahaha

It really does! ...*googles*...

Misogynist Chomsky @hanytimeh

Dear Henry, the guy who thinks he needs a“safe space” for white dudes: it’s called EVERYWHERE. Inviting more people to the table doesn’t make you unsafe, you sniveling privilegewank.

People seem about as determined to hoard their privilege as they are to hoard all the guns.

...or I wrote my thesis about the Alien and Sedition Acts and while I know Hamilton was very smart, he was also a stubborn asshole who refused to change with the times. And i don’t get my history from broadway musicals

No kids yet; really wish there was a way to skip to age 10 w/out adopting someone.

I checked around, and there are a few cold-air-fart videos on YouTube, but I cannot vouch for their authenticity.

Trump walked past me at CPAC this year. The hallway was very crowded and his body guards had him stop right next to me. We made eye contact. I don’t know how or why my reflex was this, but as soon as our eyes met, I aggressively pointed at him and screamed “YOU KILLED THE USFL!!”
He looked completely bewildered and was…

The Bucks: Stop here.

So the Bucks ended the two longest winning streaks in NBA history. Have at it, truthers.

Now they know how the Carolina Panthers feel.