I know it’s not true to the hashtag but I am liking “allupinyourbootywithmyfinger.tips”

Good Christ, Kanye. She stuck a finger in your ass a time or two and you liked it. Who doesn't?!?!? God, you are so fucking boring. Just own it.

Kanye, we get it. Taylor and Amber are both liars and you are always right. This shit is getting boring, do better.

Some married guy told me he wrote in a song that he thinks him and I might have sex, the words out of my mouth would be, “are you fucking on drugs? Or are you just wicked fucking dumb.”

Couldn’t resist.

You know who had a chance to be cool?

Celine Dion broke down during her first show since her husband’s passing.

I’m still regretting that I didn’t buy FingersInTheBootyAssBitch.com

That sounds like a super natural, realistic conversation, Kanye.

VARIETY PACK

I don’t believe at all.

every time he denies it, i just imagine amber rose pegging him.

I don’t even have a kid to thank for my lopsided boobs. These are ALLLL genetics, baby.

Kanye’s definitely in “protest too much” territory now. On both issues. Also, it’s gross that he’s like “Taylor isn’t being cool about my misogyny”. Because apparently the way to be a cool girl is to be chill about shit like that.

I would love it if he could release the phone records to prove that he actually did call Taylor Swift... if he actually did.

She not cool no more, she had two seconds to be cool and she fucked it up.

I immediately thought Megan Fox.

In her response to the first girl she says she used a laser treatment (that’s what BBL is) to get rid of her freckles, and then in the second post it’s ProActiv got rid of her freckles? I’m no Jessica Fletcher but I’d say signs point to ProActiv ad.

This is the best thing I’ve read all week.