Dear Illustrators,

I’m one of those bi guys. I had trouble dating girls in high school and at 18 found guys so much darn easier. Fast-forward a few years. I’m in college now and desiring women and stability more.

That drawing of Pee Wee and Francis is amazing.

I would have totally seen this in 1999. Maybe on a double bill with "Go."

You are someone who was a late bloomer and a religious conservative, and that's fine. I'm not going to judge - or comment negatively - on your choice in that respect.

First off, apart from a kiss she had in her early 20s, it doesn't sound like she's ever had any experience with anything.

I totally stand by that "well, what do you expect" tone.

Exactly.

It's not wrong for her to choose not to have sex with someone, but she shouldn't be confused that people will not want to pursue a romantic relationship with a person who won't sleep with them.

STOP BULLYING ME.

Yeah, but there is still a release. Sometimes even penetration. You can't call one act causes the loss of virginity and the other not. The outcome is still the same.

So wet dreams and masturbation de-virginize?

"Hi, guys! I've having so much sex, it's exhausting! I feel sooo bad on how much time I'm takin' makin' this sexy lady cuuuuuum."

Uh, you can still suck dick and be a virgin.

You know, unless it happens to you. . .

"Gee, no grown man wants to date me for more than three sexless months. Why?!"

Buck o five

"Goth Wiccans" really can't roll their eyes at anything but themselves.

This is a lot of time spent thinking about a movie that is about as satisfying as a marshmallow peep.

2013 has never stopped happening: