Easy solutions:

I’m glad I got married in 2000. Paid cash for everything and made a slight profit.

“how does anybody afford a Canada Goose parka AND a wedding?” Let’s ask Quincy Jones, he seems to have all the answers.

If a man ever wants to marry me he gone have to meet me down to the courthouse. The way my cheapness is setup I could never see myself parting with that many shillings for a one day event. Nah. Nope. No.

200 guests at a NYC wedding is going to be stacks of cash money, no matter what. Even if you’ve got Uncle Moneybags footing the bill, it’s still eye-popping. We got married on the cheap 15 years ago and I can’t imagine what it would cost nowadays.

I went to the courthouse. You’re on your own with this one.

My cuz & his now-wife had a wedding a few years back, it was to some degree non traditional: they had it at a community events center in a park; they asked their friends who lived locally to make & bring specific food items - most of their friends brought main dishes, the rest brought different kinds of pies or cakes…

First: the cake. Amphora Bakery, Vienna, VA. It’s been a long time for me, but I’m still pretty sure they have some of the lowest cost-per-slice in town and it’s damn tasty cake. Worth looking into if you haven’t decided. Moving on...

Yeeeeaaa... Lady Merc and I are sitting here in the hospital -Baby Merc has arrived- and we’ve pretty much decided that we’re just going to do the legal route for now, and wait to have a big ceremony until after our little girl is old enough to be petal girl. That gives us plenty of time to save up the cash required.

I had an economical (not cheap) wedding for under 10k and I am glad for it. So many other commenters here have shared best practices I wish I knew. It did feel good to not be in debt from a wedding, and it shocked me to find out how normal that is.

Yes. I went into $19,000 in debt, and my wedding was 100 people. Thankfully, my bride didn’t want her family to show up. But yeah, it was a major strain on the bills.

If you have friends or family that can help with food, entertainment, flowers, etc., ask them for help - but both sides must VERY clear about whether their help is a gift or if you are paying them. My friend had a wedding that resulted in ruined friendships because she assumed she didn’t have to pay people. One friend…

Which, again, begs the question, how do people afford this?

I got married by the pastor in his living room ( very nice home ) who was my sisters co worker. My sister and my nieces were the only people there and we ate finger food after. My wife loved it and I loved her more because she knew we couldn’t afford anything more but she was happy that we were husband and wife.

Elope. Have a badass honeymoon. Come back. Have a blow out party. It works (worked for me). In the end, it’s all the same. Sounds like you’re already married anyway...

A few years ago my friends won a wedding at National Harbor. The biggest downside was that they only had 2 weeks to notify guests and get RSVPs, so a lot of their family from outside the US weren’t able to make it.

You could buy a one bed home in my local area for what you’re paying for a big party. Look - you know full well there are cheaper ways to do these things. You’re on the internet, you can google. If you want to throw a luxury party in a fancy venue with dinner and drinks for 100+people with someone professionally…

I hope whoever I marry knows that I ain’t with that shit.

It’s probably no consolation, but that actually made me feel a little bit better about the wedding I’m trying to help plan, because at least it doesn’t cost here quite like in D.C. Jeeeeeeezus.

Credit cards, man. Piles of maxed out credit cards. My little girl is 12. I live in a very traditional area, so the Bride’s parents are expected to at least pick up most of the tab. I’m trying to build my credit now so that I can help give her the wedding she wants when it comes to that.