Non-baseball fan has reasonable guess! Crucify them!

“I was.”
-Ray Rice

C’mon, that coat’s enormous. It had, like, 7-9 pockets.

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

Keep Austin? Weird.

You can always make another baby, but there’s only one foul ball.

Maybe she didn’t see that he wound up with the ball?

Why would he? Man only has finite energy reserves, you want him to waste that valuable resource on walking while he golfs? sad.

“Rizzo pretty clearly didn’t deviate from his path here...”

I want all the players on one team to use each other’s names on their jersey just to confuse players and announcers.

“LeBron, is this a case of where you have to defend home court at this point?”

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

No tolerance for dirty players.

I’ll tell you what it means for me: Endless phone calls from sales representatives trying to get me to sign back up for the dribble. I NEVER USED THE DRIBBLE, AND I DON’T WANT IT BACK!

It’s interesting and a bit weird whenever a celeb shaves off their famous beard.

Yeah but the NFL is obviously fixed, and wrestling is real.

Yes, you’re right. It definitely is not a sports entertainment promotion featuring musclebound men wearing sparkly spandex costumes slamming each other around for spectacle. It’s some whole other, more serious thing.

I have no fucking clue what you’ve done here but I support it.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin