Let the record state that I wore pleated khakis even though I knew they wouldn’t show up in the picture. 

Brandon sounds like a true friend. Broken cars are easier to fix than broken friendships, so go easy on him next time! Great story as usual.

It looks like me trying to process all the ads on Jalopnik and find the actual content. 

Honestly, I like it. I think Blade-Runner/Total Recall/Delorean retro-futurism is a lot cooler than the formless tacticool bullshit for red sweaty dads looking like thumbs with goatees that passes for trucks today.

Ahh, the ‘He started it!’ argument. Brilliant.

I bet the impact knocked the dent out of the Camry's rear bumper.

Bridgekeeper: STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
David Tracy: Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
David Tracy: My name is David Tracy.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
David Tracy: To seek the…

David Tracy:

sometimes really subtle things like how someone responds to “ok” tells you a lot about them as a person. so when someone interprets that THEY think “ok” is dismissive, it tells me they are the sort of person i dont want to deal with. people spend so much time talking and socializing and being afraid that someone’s…

and people wonder why we introverts hate everyone. you all keep inventing these stupid rules and making interacting with anyone a complete chore. if somebody thinks im rude or dismissive by typing “ok” to their text and gets offended, they deserve it and they did it to themselves. as far as im concerned they are doing…

Screw this.  If k or ok does the job that is what I am using.  If you can’t handle it.....too bad.

As this leaked image shows, the broken windows are part of the design.

Looks like somebody forgot to put the transmission in Bark.

That’s “Carolina Squat” mode.

COMPLETE a turn

Yes, but dammit, we COOK with it. Let’s see you make all your lovely baked goods, sauces, and mac n cheese dishes without it!

There. I hope that clears some things up for everyone.

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

You could actually see them turn into eight-year-old boys over the course of the segment. So good.