That is 100% a sundae that the Gilmores would make so did you even watch the show?

Eric With The Bad Genes

I listened to a podcast that advocates if you have champagne on hand, you are prepared to welcome good news, so I have a small bottle of sparkling wine in anticipation, because, you know, close enough. I also normally drink SO MUCH IPA, but I’m out, so my friend and I will be splitting a bottle of whipped cream vodka…

I heard some pre-teens talking behind me in line at a store the other night, and they’re just vile. Either their parents are completely oblivious to what little shits they are, or they brought it about somehow. They also rode through the lobby of the store on scooters and were a general nuisance, and I’m in my early…

It is unfair that I do not get to travel as much as Lohan does. I am The Best traveler. Please, someone fund my next European adventure, I’ll represent our country so well!

I have an ex who INSISTED foreigners are classier than Americans.

I will watch it for Christine Baranski but I’m not excited for it

Did this go anywhere btw?

I want to steal this joke so badly and taunt some racist relatives on FB

The Kardashians invented pants without drawstrings?

why are they dressed in pajamas

Shhhhhh don’t tell him sometimes women are TALLER than men. And older!

I won’t admit that since it’s not true. Also: Why does it matter to you?

Adorable. I’ll tell that to the roommates I’ve constructed out of empty Pinot Gris bottles and liters of vodka and see if I get a chuckle out of them.

Oh I guess I just have to toss MY acceptance speech out now, huh?

My friends and I are going to have a viewing party <3 - no mascara that day

I can’t be worse than Season 7 and I’ll watch the entire thing on repeat til I die.

Her heart is killing the Great Barrier Reef

I didn’t learn about these until I was in college and missed out on getting them during Halloween.

It doesn’t matter what they know or believe. Listen to this week’s This American Life - facts are losing.