It’s all so very dramatic in the morning.

“When I’m hanging out with other girls, there’s always SO MUCH DRAMA.”

“... staring off at things that aren’t really there ...”

Whoa whoa whoa. If two teams split gold, there’s no silver goddamn medal! Nobody came second! They’re tied for bronze! This travesty cannot stand.

It’s hard to be friends with girls. They’re always eating salads, while smiling and staring off at things that aren’t really there. It’s just so disconcerting. Why can’t they be more down to earth. You know like wearing shorts that go down past their knees, talking about getting laid all the time when they really…

Surprised there was no mention of a belching contest or lighting farts on fire.

“But but but.... I really am special. And I do hate drama. And I do know at least some sportsball terms. Did I mention I grew up as a tomboy? And that I’m perfectly comfortable being in gym shorts and a ratty T-shirt all the time? I mean, except when I choose to glam up. Then I do it and do it well. But I don’t feel…

I mean, sure, there may be a drama-free chick or two out there, but like I get it. They’ve always got migraines or, like, laundry, and they always eat yogurt, nothing but yogurt, when it’s like, sometimes I just want a lean protein and a beer, you know?

Someone on Jezebel — a regular, no less — once wrote a long and entirely serious comment explaining that she could only be friends with men because she was sarcastic, she liked horror movies, and she liked to bake, and women who share her specialized, hypermasculine interests just don’t exist!

“My superpower is that I’m unkillable! Actually, it’s just the parts of me riddle with cancer that are resistant to treatment. The rest of me is very much dying!”

“I can clone myself!”

Oh my God, there was a hamster in the purse, wasn’t there.

Don’t bone shame, it’s not cool.

I’m with you, on all of your responses. A LOT of celebrities supported RDJ through the worst of his addiction, right down to showing up for him when he came out of prison, and none of them have felt the need to state how devoted they were to him. Why does SJP need to speak on it? Hasn’t she gotten enough attention…

This is pretty gross of her since she is clearly bringing this up to paint herself as a brave! victim! to distract from the fact that no one is having her shit about Kim Cattrall.

If my calculations are correct, she was single and lonely for approximately 75 years, and somehow her womb is 5000 years old.

I think this is great advice not just for people who have loved drug addicts\alcoholics, but addicts of all kinds, as well as those just generally given to constant self-induced trauma.

SJP just going ahead and airing everybody’s shit.

This sentence couldn’t be more “16 & Pregnant: Millionaire Edition”

No shit, it’s the second thing I do in the morning. The first thing of course, is feeding her. doesn’t smell, it’s in the basement, there’s a rug and one of those plastic paw cleaning things, so no tracking. Cats are incredibly easy pets to deal with, along with being endlessly entertaining. I’ve had many dogs, pains…