Deude, pump the brakes maybe? We’re talking about cooter-powdering. Surely it can’t be worth much anger?

I like their songs, too. And I like picturing this in my head: http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/1-g…

She bragged the other day about knowing more than I think she knows about sex. And I was like oh yeah? And she said yeah I know everything. I ride a bus, mom. So I asked her about anal beads.

If you gangbang Cruz, Rubio, Carson, and Trump and they all drop out, you get your face carved in Mount Rushmore.

I think the answer is easy. Have an orgy with all the GOP candidates so they all leave. You’re welcome America.

The Internet is TOTALLY qualified to diagnose things. Just look at Fitbit baby. So let’s play what do I have:

Seriously. I usually have to poop more when I have too much coffee, not beg Mark Zuckerberg for money.

maybe she just likes you better than your brothers.

It’s awesome that her training was able to help her but it ends up sounding too much like bad rape advice, “don’t dress too slutty” , “don’t drink alcohol.” etc etc

I’m...confused. These categories are not mutually exclusive. For instance, the pic accompanying this article. Would you categorize Cate Blanchett’s role in Carol as a “wife” character? I certainly wouldn’t. I would categorize it as a character who, among the many things about her, is married to someone.

How about laws to help support former boybanders who struggle after a breakup? byebyebyelaws?

I saw it alone, went back to my studio apartment, made scrambled eggs, and stared at the shells for far too long as I considered how they could be made into a snake that could be my friend.

My father sent a text to me, my mother, and my sister today. It was a picture of a subway ad for those period panties (I forget what they’re called). He said something about it sinking to a new low. I questioned him on it, then proceeded to go into a full on rant about how periods are natural/not gross, about half of…

Your insistence on properly identifying parts of speech is what’s keeping us from the revolution

Love, exciting and gnu
Come to our pen. We’re expecting ewe
Love, life’s sweetest reward.
Let milk flow, it floats back to you.
The Love Goat soon will be making another run
The Love Goat promises something for everyone
Set a horse for adventure,
Your mind on a new ram, man
Love won’t yogurt anymore
It’s an open smile on…

I don’t know why but every so often a scene from Titanic pops into my head, the one where the ship has sunk and Kate Winslet is on her little raft and Leo’s frozen and dead and a rescue rowboat comes through and either Kate’s raft or the rowboat thunks against the frozen floating corpses and…I chuckle. I’ve never…

We’re talking about a guaranteed perfect soulmate here – that is way beyond the realistic spectrum of people. That is a stroke of incredible luck,* and you can’t just expect to find someone else who’s anywhere close to that level of compatibility.

How dare you deny their love. Their hot, sweaty, potentially catatonic love.

OH MY GOD I CAN FINALLY POST THIS PIC!!!!!!:

You’d have to see it to believe it