Unpopular opinion: George Clooney is not all that handsome and seems like a complete dick with his love of practical jokes. And now this pear-shaped, potato-faced wang—who everyone inexplicably insists is the ultimate catch—is calling his son a “thug” and his daughter “elegant”? George Clooney sucks, people.

How great would it be if the first letter of each paragraph spelled out F-U-C-K-Y-O-U?

Please, please, PLEASE remember that Houston wasn’t the only city affected by this storm. There were so many small towns who were impacted and they aren’t getting the same amount of press. (I understand why so please don’t get on me about that, okay?) So please donate to organizations who are helping all Harvey…

Turkeys are seriously the fucking worst. They’re big, ugly, aggressive, and stupid. They were introduced into the East Bay hills here in the Bay Area for sport a little over a decade ago, but people here don’t fucking hunt turkeys, and they’ve reproduced like mad. They get hit by cars on the freeways, they terrorize…

I understand the pessimism, but there’s got to be a ray of hope, right?

Does anybody have context? I feel like there’s a lot missing. All I get is that somebody climbed aboard a home made submarine and the person who made the submarine then sunk it. Why?

Gawd! That was one of the most uncomfortable interviews ever and solidified my deep hatred of Simmons.

Sidewalk etiquette? Dude has plenty of room, as mentioned. Also she’s walking on an angle to give him more room. As a frequently disgruntled jogger who wishes the world would put more effort into sidewalk etiquette, I feel pretty confident he just wanted to push a woman in front of a bus.

It’s the political equivalent of “thoughts and prayers.” I thought and I prayed and NOTHING HAPPENED. What gives?

Quick. Someone tell Trump what a Faustian Bargain means.

are you pontificating from Park Slope or some shit

“Even when you thought you were alone - you weren’t alone. But now that you’re here with family and you’re not alone - we’re all weird as fuck and you’re kind of alone.”

Even without the shitty undercurrents of, “Oh hey, raped in the name of politics,” there was a lot of crummy subtext there. I know she’s going to…

45 met with Pope Francis and sent Spicer, a devout Catholic, home before he had the pleasure of meeting the head of the Roman Catholic Church

In a different way, the same thing applies to Bill Cosby. I heard rumors about his alleged inappropriate behavior when I was in my early 20s. But again, it was whispers. And again, what was I supposed to do? Research what I heard? Take my thoughts to the authorities?

I look at this guy’s house, and his hairline, and I’m so certain that a ton of money and work went into both of them, and yet they are both so bad.

When people complain that the Kardashians are famous for no reason, I think, what about Ryan Seacrest? He is famous for no reason, too. At least the Kardashians have some skin in the game.

Walk into any dementia-care area of a nursing home and you can have basically the same conversation. I’m not kidding.