Doesn’t this op-ed basically go against your policy of no poop/vomit stories? Because Cohen’s pretentious “Occasionally I like to punish” word salad was basically poop and vomit.

The nitpicking is insane. Particularly when it's simple things that are easily correctable. "My salad was a bit limp." Okay, so when your server asked if the food was to your liking, you said... Oh that's right. You said nothing. Because you're a coward and a dick.