Before I deleted my account I would always ask women the same thing: "So do you want to hear a ridiculous pick-up line or should we skip the awkward stuff."

I guess you're really really really into found footage horror films for you to dig this. All I see is someone lazily slapped a video camera's information overlay onto P.T. and called it a day.

I'm not DeMuro.

Psh... JR puts up 55 every other night.

STEP 1: Buy an Aston Martin

Of course, the most fantastically, absurdly wealthy of Jalopnik readers are screaming at me, personally, to just get to the point already and tell you all about where you can buy it and who's doing the brokering and all that, because that's a service you get with Jalopnik PRO, the service you've never heard about…

There once was a Mazda in Texas

100%-ing each of them on Expert difficulty unlocks 1/3 of a teaser video for Rock Band 4 on current gen. It's the only explanation. Or, at least, it's the only one I am willing to accept.

The fun part is my one friend that posted it said "the only benefit is maybe having a warm car to get into"

So the "Don't mess with the Zohan" sequel

Jaguar F-Type Coupé.

How can you miss such an obvious joke

Dear Watt, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

or just drive the speed limit

Cory efferson.

You're new here aren't you?

Pictured: Yet another Cam Newton turn over.

You think I'm kidding!

It is absolutely stunning. Between Aston Martin and the new Jaguar F-Type, the Brits have perfect proportions covered.