THAT shirt..EXACTLY!!! Douche dork (pictured above) writes for Goddamned G fucking Q magazine. You would think he would get some sense of style through os-fucking-mosis from that gig...but no. He goes on CHOPPED with THAT SHIRT.

I climbed into bed last night and told my wife “Hey, Drew Magary was on Chopped tonight - and he WON!”. She simply rolled away from me and started to cry. They were not tears of happiness.

The gif that keeps on giving.

Wow, I think I wrote “tennis” because I subconsciously wished I was writing about something less punishingly boring than golf, the game that people play when they wish they could watch paint dry but the excitement might be too hard on their hearts

As a Duke alum myself, I would like to see these guys stay all four years and win. However, most of the players that leave early seem to be paying attention in economics class and realize that if their value to the NBA and their future financial well being is substantially greater in value than the Duke degree, you…

$165,338,631 can’t buy you happiness that is broing it up with a bunch of insufferable people with last-names-as-first-name in salmon pink shorts.

Top Ten Duke Players I Like:

What would Jennifer Taylor do if offered the best job in her field after two years of school? Would she go back to school risking that the job offer may no longer be there when she graduates.

He doesn’t have to prove that strain caused it, pursuant to the tort doctrine of res ipsa lockerter.

Level of education isn't the only thing customers wrongly assumeabout people in service jobs. So long ago that there was still a military draft, I worked part-time in a department store we'll call Macy's. I did that to get some extra cash and to score a discount on the civilian clothes I was buying lots of for my…

Perhaps it's the 3 weeks of Chantix, as I'm usually very much against violence, but I vividly imagined this situation ending considerably differently. Within about 10 seconds, I'd have whispered "I have a master's degree", kicked someone in the head with the intent of injury, dropped my notepad like the mic in a rap…

So much word! I used to work at The Container Store after grad school. See I had an advanced degree and I was teaching two university courses and privately tutoring—but I needed at least one steady job to count on week in, week out. Academia doesn't offer that for most people, so to retail I went. Pro tip: You…

I guess he was looking... for cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory!

*rimshot*

*thrown tomatoes*

Because you used to actually get "good jobs" if you went to college. Before their generation (Boomers) got super-selfish and destroyed society. And now they look down on us and call us selfish because interwebz. Projection, much?

So ALLLLLL you do all day is work a job that pays your rent, and you speak French? LAME! Why aren't you an astrophysicist? Neil Degrasse Tyson is one. It's not that hard.

One time when I was outside of a Cheesecake Factory smoking a cigarette a man propositioned me thinking I was a hooker.

I had a table once whisper loudly to their children, "if you don't go to college, you'll end up waiting tables like her..." while I was prebussing their table.

This, THIS is what a normal, sane person is talking about when they're saying that a business can and sometimes should refuse someone service. The utterly insane assholes who start off treating the staff like slaves and go downhill from there. The POS who threatens their way into free stuff because they know a…

Les Expos?