Now waiting for all of the “who is this?” comments. Man, that joke is so incredibly tired. Its legs withered and fell off a long time ago.

If my words were misplaced.

Misplaced his words? Did he accidentally leave them in his other pants, or were they previously stored up his butt and he forgot that they usually only come out when he’s not in public?

Betcha Trump can’t run faster than Bernie.

Hopefully this will shut up the folks whining about his age. The dude’s in better health than me and he’s nearly twice my age.

Oh my god, the rest of the world has discovered otherkin.

I’m still very interested in the story of how Trump’s doctor managed to examine all the other presidents.

That’s the only part that confused me. Who the fuck doesn’t leave their number for woke bae Matt McGorry??

She's the one out of all that mess that I'm rooting for.

Unrelated:

This is where Donald Trump came from.

People who think that jokes about women drivers are still clever and who drink wine because it makes them sophisticated

Boy do I love love love Rihanna...but goddam this song is rubbish. Tedious, repetitive and kinda dull? Is it one of those things where seeing the video with it will make the song more appealing?? One can dream...

So we watched Good Burger for the first time this weekend and my dude pointed out Abe Vigoda for some reason. I then realized that I have, for my entire life, assumed that Abe Vigoda is an old timey baseball player that just moonlights as an actor. And apparently, I’m wrong?

As a stay at home mom who could really use a freaking sick day today and isn't getting one, word.

And for most of existence, women haven’t had the privilege of not showing up. No matter how sick or busy, they couldn’t stop mothering. Women have been working around the clock, rain or snow or plague or shine, for millenia.

Honestly, I think it’s because as a female you are worried you’ll be judged if you don’t show up. Dudes just take for granted that they can stay home when they are sick, their kid is sick, or it’s dangerous to travel.

“I just sold you to a Saudi prince. And tomorrow I'm bringing Lamar here — I need a brown ottoman in my bedroom."

Kylie’s face looks like it has not settled from whatever the hell she did to herself in these pictures. It looks verrry puffy.

From New York: