Im sorry, you sound like you are very level headed which probably means you are doing a fantastic job of taking care of everybody's needs. I don't have much in the way of advice, just support. My only thought is caregiver support groups. I never thought I was a support group person, but I have found them helpful. Good…

Im super late to this game, but I’m pumping as I read this now and my nipples have gone from pain to numbness, which is the only reason I am still pumping right now. We are expecting a baby via surrogate in 5 weeks (5!) and I’m trying to induce lactation. It’s working! Kinda! We will see how (or if) this goes with an…

So to recap, to blame are: 1) learning disabilities 2) an underfunded school 3) a guidance counselor 4) confusion about motherhood

Yoga classes, especially taught by men. The ego, the affectation of calm, centered, crystal-healing bullshit. All I really stretch are my eyeballs as they roll back in my head. 

I’ll be honest that i didn’t clock through to articles and maybe this comment shows...but didn’t they get married in Tennessee? Or was that just a ceremony and the paperwork was actually done in California?

Lol! I just finished typing up my limo birthday story before I came here and saw yours. Limo rentals for the win!

My best birthday was my 13th and looking back it was such wholesome fun I will probably never experience again. 1994. My Mom said I could have a sleepover party, which had been my regular party go-to for a few years, so that was cool, but not a huge deal. When my friends asked me what time they could come over in the…

I am expecting a surprise-sex baby in 8 weeks (yay!) and finding non-gendered items that are NOT grey is an almost impossible task! I’m fine with a little grey, but EVERYthing not explicitly gendered (pink frills, blue trucks) is grey. I don’t want a grey nursery with all grey toys and bedding! 

All good ideas, thank you! I am trying to induce lactation and most likely will use an SNS with the breast milk she is planning to provide. (If she changes her mind that’s totally fine, there is zero pressure on her to pump and deal with all of that.) I will look into more boob-love items and will ask her too what she…

God point about the mental health! I had talked to her about hiring a doula for post-partum care and/or therapy on whatever schedule she wanted (Weekly or bi-weekly, etc). She waved that idea away, but I will bring it up again. Her mom is coming for 2 weeks post-birth and I think she’s counting on that too be must…

So i have a baby on the way right now with a surrogate (due in October- yay!!) and I’m trying to prep now for all the items she may need post-partum (besides amazing coffee and lots of it). Having never been post-partum, I’m not sure what might be helpful. She’ll be busy recovering, I’ll be in heaven, and we live in…

Part of your point here is actually making the case that compensated surrogacy be legalized, so it can therefore be controlled with laws designed to protect the GC. Just as legal abortion led to safer abortions and protections for pregnant women.

Some of what you say here I agree with: that adoption is expensive but so is infertility treatment. That surrogacy in general leverages one person’s economic advantage over the other person’s lack of access. But thinking about this for a long time, I realized that it’s not so cut and dry. (I’m not going to get into…

Having successful pregnancies is the biggest requirement actually, the one I have never heard anyone getting around even with a shady doctor. (It’s a lot to go through for a uterus that has never been tested. It would make very little sense to try. That said, I’m sure somewhere, someone has done it. ) There are MANY…

Oh! Should have pointed this out when I first replied: a woman who has that kind of traumatic post-natal experience would not be a good candidate for surrogacy and would probably not pass either the medical or the psych screening. Generally, candidates for surrogacy need to have a pretty flawless record with pregnancy…

Don’t ask to babysit? Are their neighbors 8th grade girls looking to make money over the summer to buy designer jeans before school starts? Maybe I’m way off on what their neighborhood is like, but I imagine more wealthy folks inclined to recommend nannies than to babysit. (“Oh DO reach out to Mrs Terwilliger, she was…

1. Shave my head. It would be so weird given who I am and my life. But I’ve wanted to do it since I was 20 and I missed my crazy youth period. Now I feel like I need to wait for the DGAF old lady years.

Haha, well probably best to remain vigilant to the pitfalls of capitalism in all areas for sure!

Physical and mental post-natal care is covered under our contract, but also we discussed it long before she was pregnant. What could my husband and I provide? What costs can we bear? Anything we would pay for me post-pregnancy we would pay for her. That’s just part of the responsibility we feel that is not…

Those are really thoughtful questions. I am often very hesitant to post publicly like this because there is SO much to this - it’s impossible to cover everything I think & feel and so often people do not want to have a discussion, they want to drive home a point. But I really appreciate the chance to discuss it, so…