Blacky Boo Boo is way cuter.

Is it bad that I want kids because, from the ages of four to sixteen, they will be my little "slaves?"

Indeed

I want to star this a million times, then dance around it, and star it a million more.

We both know the reason you write for deadspin, Greg (hard G), is because you suck at ball, son!

This, this right here is why I read Jezebel. Not the fucking Thighlights ;-).

Not trying to be a dick, here (I usually try very hard), but as a former manic depressive, is it right for me to call bullshit on baby Cobain?

Aye, me lady, it could.

Whatever, Erin, you tomato, they say apples. Same shit. Or something.

Cesspit, Erin, cesspit rhymes with desperate.

Kim Kardashian Says She's a 'Strict Mother' and No One Cares.

Oh, Yay! Now computers are shitty judges of character, too!

thanks for this, Mark. No seriously, I go to you for fucking YouTube videos, and you come at me with this.

So awesome.

What shit eater thought to put white numbers on a sky blue background for the score thingy?

They think they are being so savvy with this intentional false rumor bullshit.

God dammit, Stewart! You're playing around with the future of my sex, AND LOSING!

"Sash tried hiding behind a tree, though police spotted him."

Just can't. How the...?

There is nothing we can do. I have never felt more helpless. I hope this saves at least one of these girls.