I'd *just* looked at my ringing phone when I read your comment. I'm now giving side-eye to my voice mail light.

Not two years ago, and I'm well into adulthood, I unthinkingly put my fingers through a chain link fence while I said hello to a goat at my relative's hobby farm. The resulting head-butt put my hand out of commission for over a week. Though that wasn't a petting zoo. No petting, nope. Gah.

Oh, that's low. LOW. *sniffdamnyousniff*

Speaking of, I tried a couple of Gillian Flynn's other books and I wasn't able to make it through Sharp Objects; too much blood, implied blood, or the inevitable appearance of blood.
*reads*
*faints*
*courageously but unwisely tries again, apparently heedless of the damn title*
*faints*

I'm seriously vacillating between sympathy for the puppy and wanting to BE that cat. Perhaps especially, though not exclusively, at work.

Seriously. I'm due for some wisdom teeth extractions shortly and they assured me I'll need a general anesthetic.

Could even use the applicator as some sort of mini-cannon! *foop!*
OB users are welcome to bring slingshots.

Tomatonormative! Durian-shamer! *looks around frantically for something else to argh at*

For YEARS I thought he was singing "if you like making love at midnight, in the dew suffocate..."

(sniff)

And Baxter's all "Trotting out that story again, I see. Heartwarming. Whatevs. Give me back my chew toy."

Totally. I mean he said this: "We cannot have a society in which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States." Some dictator someplace. I absolutely love that Obama is describing the Supreme Leader of the People's Democratic Republic of North Korea as 'some dictator someplace.'…

Mine is so S O O O O O O not a parallel experience but this reminds me when I lost my first job to layoffs. Start of my career in books, totally freaked out. (Again: NOT a parallel!) My boss, who told me, was really kind about it but when I was covering the reception desk at lunch the owner floated by and said "hey,…

That's an excellent point. I mean, Jemaine Clement only needed to get down to his business socks. Any further is just ... unnecessary.

That quote practically threw me up against the wall and said "USE ARCHER VOICE."

Well then, this emotion shit just makes him a sissy candy-ass, right? No real threat, right?

Totally. Especially because it's not even "Oh God, it's my mother." Nope: "Oh God, it's Mom." Every Mom ever just called in. Heh.

See, you're actually showing self-agency while at the same time speeding up the process. Netflix is, like, "full marks for owning that obsession of yours. Off you go, then."

You watched Ken Burns' The Dust Bowl for 3 hours and 20 minutes straight last night. How are you feeling? I know, I know. But just 40 minutes more and you're done. Honestly, things start looking up!

It does. I'm sorry you feel bad or have ever been made to feel bad. GRR.