In middle school, our health teacher showed us a video of a young girl eating only Q-tips! It was a thoroughly scary clip.

More like the end of a Fleshlight, really.

saving for future hair cut reference, if I ever ditch the undercut. she looks fantastic!

wait WHAT

am i looking at butt fuzz

I have drop crotch 'designer sweatpants' (yeah I'm laughing at myself too) that are the most comfortable things ever, I'm wearing them into disintegration.
But they aren't even liquor store run acceptable.

Basically that entire list is shit I look amazing in, soooo. Most of my guy friends even disagree with that list, but that's not the point.
As for the bright lipsticks, I must invoke Jack Burton wisdom on this one:

Saaame. I keep watching her movies and feeling like she could have given us so much more, she was a treasure.

SUPERHERO BABE.

All my stories of meeting my favorite bands aren't famous enough for anyone to give a shit. At least my 3am tour bus adventure around some nowhere part of LA to get tacos with my favorite band made me happy.
Ok and when I was 14, I snuck into a club and danced with Hal Sparks.

Ha.

come blazing out of the closet like the twinkish bottle rocket

I saw a photo of a girl dressed up as blood splattered Jackie for Halloween and was frowning at the entirely positive response she seemed to get. I've dressed as a blood soaked zombie for Halloween but that made me a bit uncomfortable.

samesies and whatevs, yeeeah!

Can we confess some of the words we've added into our own autocorrect dictionaries?

Mixed feelings: 1) this is amazing 2) I'm so sad this is necessary 3) I'm sad I missed seeing such an awesome group of people.

This except instead of a banana, it was my teacher's entire arm... to illustrate that condoms do fit everyone!

glad i switched to Yes To Carrots anyway way better lip balm.

conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed

Farting robustly towards that paragraph.