One Christmas while we were at dinner at a family friend’s house our dog ate all of the chocolate from the entire family’s stockings - except for the shitty Chunky candy in my dad’s. Her diarrhea was so bad we were kind of worried she was gonna die, but she drank a ton of water, slept it off, and was fine the next day.

So Jacoby Ellsbury is a permanent bench-warmer even when he comes back from the DL, right? Aaron Hicks has been overshadowed by the Yankees’ very large boy, but he’s a solid contender for most improved player in the league.

Obligatory but sincere post bitching that the NHL lets Crosby get away with murder because he’s one of the league’s only genuine superstars.

I am patiently awaiting the “Joe Pa got a bad rap” takes. They give me life, and can always be counted on in any article about Penn State.

As vicious as that is, I think “My dad stays home nights!” might be nastier because of the clear implication that her father is an alcoholic who hates spending time with his kids.

I’ve been to plenty of games for teams that aren’t playing well - the reason I dropped from doing like 5-6 Yankees games a year to 1-2 is that their ticket prices got so obscene (and also the new stadium sucks).

Sort of makes you appreciate the platitudes (“Our goal is always to win the game” “I’d take this team over any other lineup in the league” “We’re not intimidated by them” etc.) that seemingly every manager of a professional sports team except Moyes uses. Like, the guy was talking about how Sunderland were going to get…

My standard Friday night move is my wife goes to bed around 10 and then it’s time for kung-fu movies and a six-pack.

Can’t fix England’s shitty weather, but the dude can definitely just make himself pasta whenever he feels like it. Like, I’m not that great of a cook but I almost never order pasta at a restaurant because, with exceptions that I can count on one hand, I’ve never had pasta at a restaurant that I couldn’t have made just…

White British soccer journalists/commentators have a huge problem with talented (and young) black players. It’s not just Pogba, it’s a constant “he’s too flashy/cares too much about Twitter/cares too much about fashion/I don’t like this ‘dabbing’ thing.” And yes, I know it’s not exclusively said about black players…

Oh, come on. There aren’t that many of them.

Look, I can see why Dolan wants to go forward with this. He and Trump are both thin-skinned, greedy, creepy, arrogant, gauche, assholes who had everything in life handed to them by their fathers, consistently fail when they try to build something of their own, and are held in contempt by New York high society.

Speaking as a non-UConn alum but born and raised in Connecticut: the women’s team is the most popular college sports team in the state.

I feel like the soccer tradition of framing salary in terms of weekly paycheck makes a lot of big contracts sound WAY more crazy than they really are. Like, a dude making £190,000 per week in England (so at the upper echelon of salaries paid in the Premier League) is making less than £10M per year pre-tax. Compared to…

I’m angry that this didn’t spark a bench-clearing brawl - even without any goons in the current line-up, we still have some big guys like Kreider who can fuck you up. But I’m scared that AV might also be angry that no one defended Hank and now Tanner Glass is going to get called up :(

I’m sure the tabloids and overly rabid fans (me, I’m just a regularly-rabid fan) will try to make a controversy out of this, but looking at the numbers Hank almost always struggles around this time of year and is better in the playoffs when he plays <65 games in the regular season, so I’m fine with giving him a little…

Accidentally have *a* drink? Sure, I’ll buy it. Accidentally drink enough to blow *twice* the legal limit. C’mon, man.

Could you trip over yourself defending them a bit more? Way to uncritically buy their excuses about being used as a diversion. Solid journalism.

There is nothing I hate more than bros who are called out for their racism and/or misogyny and/or homophobia immediately trying to excuse it with, “It was just a joke. What, you can’t take a joke, bro? Don’t be such a fucking pussy.”

Losing Kevin Klein wouldn’t be the best thing to happen to the Rangers, but would be far preferable to losing any forwards. I’ll take it!