If one of those 15 jobs is the hairstylist for Skeletor up there, they probably need to be fired.

If you're not sure if you can bring yourself to watch this, you should watch this. It's so impossibly over the top that it's not even gross.

I recommend that any person who does analysis or predictions in the media (politics, sports, Hollywood rumors, whatever) should have a permanent tally of what they got right or wrong. This should be displayed by their name any time they make an appearance or are referenced. Once they fall below 50%, they are labeled…

HEY THEY ARE KICKING FROM THE 35 YARD LINE INSTEAD OF THE 30! THAT'S 5 LESS YARDS THE BALL HAS TO TRAVEL BEFORE IT CAN BE RECO-What? That rule was changed? Wouldn't that mean kickoffs will mostly sail out of the endzone and transition right back into a 2 minute commercial break? It does but no one cares?

This is pretty abstract/obscure, but when I think of Peyton as an offensive coordinator I think of a scene in Band of Brothers involving Major Winters after being promoted from company commander. He's screaming at his incompetent successor while watching a battle disastrously unfold and starts charging in to replace…

I was in my frat house, I had just gotten home to discover everyone piled into one guy's room staring at the TV. It was SportsCenter, which was pretty much showing the brawl on loop. I think we watched it over and over again for about four hours.

Lil B the Based God

I love Founder's All-Day, but I find Centennial to be sort of run-of-the-mill. I mean, as really good IPAs go. I'm not denying that it's good stuff, but it doesn't really stand out above the pack to me.

Aside from this play, my favorite form last night was (I think) the first handoff Harvin took on that sweep play where he comes darting across backfield from the slot position. The combination of Harvin's speed and Lynch and Wilson selling the fake broke poor Julius Peppers's brain. He just stood there, completely…

8. Tourists On Segways.

All of the tourist-mobiles are the worst. In Chicago, food trucks were illegal for years, but fat fucks from southern Indiana were allowed to clog every street and bike path in the city with segways, bike cars, pedal-cabs, and now DIVY's (Chicago's CITI Bikes).

1. Anyone who drives slowly in the left lane.

2. (tie) Motorcyclists who don't wear safety gear

You mentioned them in your intro, but UPS drivers are easily the most dangerous things on the road. They are worse than drunk teenagers trying to sext their "girlfriends" while driving.

Whether it was some guy taking advantage of a massive security vulnerability in iCloud or a cabal of personal assistants or Rocket Raccoon who did it, yeah, that a lot of celebrities just had their privacy violated and that these photos were apparently floating around in the darker parts of the internet for a couple…

There are a lot of good ideas in here, but most of them represent incremental advancement. I'm more interested in impractical ideas. My ideal site would be one that centered its editorial mission on running absolutely nothing you would see anywhere else; that would cut out a lot of interesting topics but would on the…

Oberon tastes like a foot. I have a 6-pack every year and it never gets better.

Yeah, my buddy Bill Bradley wrote that. I enjoyed it the first time around and it was a necessary reminder when the big news came out.