God damn right, you do! I had a maroon Nissan stanza, maroon on maroon. What.

The 7-speed with paddles in my Merc is relatively engaging, and its shifts are pretty crisp. I’d prefer a manual in most cases, but this is perfectly good for me.

I bought a 2013 Outback with the CVT brand new in 2013. It’s just not good, to me. Soulless in every way, not really responsive, and it also had the FB25 chronic oil consumption issue. I had it almost exactly four years and moved on to something else. I wanted to stay Subaru but I don’t want a base model car just to…

We’re angrily looking at you, Subaru, with your god-damned rubber band transmissions.

Rectum? Damned-near killed em!

Who doesn’t need a 507 HP Chrysler Pacifica (the Safety Utility Vehicle) with nicer leather? I mean, honestly.

Gonna stop you there. No jokes about First Children, no matter how harmless. We just don’t do that.

Well that was utterly mesmerizing

I hate the term rom-com.

Did someone say brown diesel wagon? (BTW: I think the existence of the Cruz diesel is rad)

Fuck street racers. Those are drag cars. Drag strip visits aren’t expensive. #GetOffMyLawn

“If God didn’t want me to masturbate, my penis would be in the middle of my back.” Wait, what were we talking about again?

*Pictured in the bed* - Actual “oh shit! handles” on the suicide seats. Amazeballs.

Dolomite Brown Metallic, by any chance? Cuz that’s what I have. With brown leather interior. And a brown steering wheel. With brown dash panels. #brown

True, but they made it with a diesel in the US, and it’s pretty freaking awesome. My garage currently houses one. :)

What about crossing the streams?

#OilTopOff - It’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.

Plastic air horns, zip tied just inside the front grill of mom’s 1983 Nissan Stanza 2-door hatchback. Maroon on maroon, since you were going to ask. I used speaker wire to route power through the door jamb (obvs) to a household doorbell button that was velcroed to the mid-dash to honk them. I thought I was fucking…

That’s an odd reaction to a not-NASCAR video.

I looked at this image for about ten seconds, then uttered, out loud, “What the fuck? Someone’s an asshole!” Clearly I’m bored at work, by myself.