That’s a lot of beverages (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) for a 13-minute “concert”. 5 t-shirts? 5 towels? Is he soaking the towels in juice and squeezing them into his mouth? Does he have a battery-powered towel squeezer which is why he needs all those batteries? I have so many questions.

I’ve always believed that the milk for the Indy 500 is specially harvested from an elite group of motorsports cows kept in a pasture just up the road from the ‘yard, and that they train all year just to produce this one batch of super milk.

“Yeah, but then he got to sit down, maybe grab a little 3rd dinner, and chill for the rest of the game. And he didn’t have to run anymore. Who’s laughing now?”

Ready? Here we go!

Things got really tense when both vehicles wound up in line at a nearby Checkers.

“Amateurs.”

Watched it this weekend. Now I’m just mad it’s not a series. I need more than two hours.

Watched it this weekend. Now I’m just mad it’s not a series. I need more than two hours.

He has now received offers from Baylor and FSU.

“Gotta be the shoes”

The Tennessee Titans just saved a QB from a future with the Cleveland Browns. They’re heroes.

Low man wins.

Tell that to Randy Johnson.

Watching that collapse reminds me of those old “Wanna get away?” Southwest Airlines commercials, but only if in the commercial the plane crashed killing everyone on board.

What did they expect when they hired a kid named McLovin

yeah, but ... who the fuck else could she even pretend to blame? the bartender? the liquor store clerk? she drove drunk. “I take full responsibility for my actions.” thanks, (former) Captain Obvious.

Ahem. Shiny Charizard is the best. The end.