I feel a little bad for him. Like, I will sleep fine, but I feel bad.

There’s a simple solution for the All-Star Game:

From a fan’s perspective, Kyrie and Love’s injuries were the best thing that could’ve happened to this series. With those two around, there’s no way Lebron takes over like he has so far. Now we are truly seeing the best player in the world vs. the best team in the world and it’s incredible to watch.

Subbing in a damned mop bucket would probably be better than wearing down the starters this much. Marion has a pulse, so he needs to play.

because attempting to hold someone back from hitting another player is called ‘attacking’?

did you invent the zero tolerance policy too?

The Marlins are a social experiment to see how blatantly sports teams can overtly fuck over their natural fan base before people start to give a shit.

I picked the Hawks to win this series, precisely because I figured the Cavs were at 50% strength at best.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus... man.

But soft! What bench through yonder playoff reeks?

Actually, I’m pretty sure they found him at the bottom of a cliff.

Potter’s family is really regretting the decision not to stage an intervention before he hit rock bottom.

Yeah, killing the dude should solve everything... Good job, American Justice System... Killing this dude is much easier than trying to unfuck his mind from the religious poison that fucked him to begin with.

“One dude should change his name to “Weber” since I just grilled him so hard.”

To all of you non-Cleveland fans who have teams routinely make the playoffs and win a few games, I envy you. This is the most fun I’ve had getting drunk and yelling about things in a long time.

I’m a Pats fan so I’m completely biased, but what sane person would just hand over their personal phone, along with their password to some schmuck in their company? Now toss in the fact that you’re a famous athlete with a super model wife and your company is the NFL which is full of cock-gobbling fucktards who can’t…

Obligatory.

Yes, it’s his 3.7 million twitter followers (vs. Deadspin’s 800k followers).

The best part is Simmons is only like the 6th most ridiculous looking person in that photo.