I doubt Blake Shelton could ever make me come even once, let alone twice.

Grade: F (Blake Shelton says he’ll make you come come hell or high water.)

As far as Khloe’s father I’m going with the hairdresser Kris was also sleeping with.

Does Uber’s pine tree hanging from the rear view mirror smell like roses? Or poo-oo-oo-oo

#fingersinthebootyassbitch

How about using his mugshot like every other major news outlet?

I have much guilt for replying in this manner, but once the police put up the crime scene tape, the jig was up. He’d run through it, think he’d won and that’s that.

I’m not going to jump to any conclusions until I have all the facts, but it appears that Eisenhauer made two mistakes. The first is that he senselessly and maliciously murdered a 13 year old girl. The second is that he did not attempt to run from the police.

Replying to dick pics with Donald Trump pics would be pretty funny

A post has been making the Facebook rounds about a woman who sends pictures of her shits to guys who send her dick pics.

no, not Russian novels, its like TMZ

GREAT.

Terry Richardson, sexual assaulter and sometime photographer.

Who?

I said I had money, I didn’t say I had reading comprehension. :)

It is a cat, so it is definitely the Gone Girl thing.

This morning I woke up and under my pillow was my cat! I can’t tell if he likes the pressure of my head pushing a pillow into his body while he sleeping or if he’s trying to get me to unknowingly suffocate him while I sleep so that he can frame me for his murder Gone Girl style to teach me a lesson. Really hard to…

Law & Fukin’ is my favorite show, too!

Cut it right under the chip

This revenge baby thing is false. Revenge is a dish best served cold and as far as I know babies must be served at 98.6 degrees.