Covering my wiener

Masterbate in the restroom

Get high and stop showering

Why are you all twats, except for Drew?

Who is the ugliest Deadspin Staffer? Hard call, there's a lot of choices.

No, he did not deny his permission to wag the finger, you liar. He just said he never spoke to him about it like Biyombo claimed.

My girl drives like a moth into a nightlight, and then criticizes me for driving well and not cutting people off and shit. Girls suck.

Lebron is a choker and likes penis

Ummm... No shit, bitch. That's how Hollywood works. They have a publicist.

But... How can lesbians have sex with each other without props? They don't have penises.

Haha, what a dumb slut!

You can’t spell “Motley” without Tom Ley.

Tom Ley walks into a bar... he then inserts it up his butthole.

Tom, I don’t think anyone likes you. U are skinny, yet fat... I guess that means weak and fat? And ugly and hairy. And you are a bitch.

I would get beaten up for $50 million. Hell, I'd even give up a nut for that amount.

Who the fuck are U, Daniel Roberts? No one. So shut the fuck up.

Yeah, but it would have been weird to pour cold water on a naked dude. Hard to respect a guy when you're a black dude with a 10 ft schlong and some 50 yr old white guy with shrinkage is attempting to tell you what to do.

Choker!!!

Dude averaged 20 pts per game one year, was a finals MVP, and you're gonna treat him like he's Ben Wallace on offense? Go f—- yourself, brah!

Four children?!? Someone hit that?!? Damn... I mean I’ve taken down so uggos in my day but wow, man! That’s a whole nother level of gross