“Scientific literature is cited to substantiate likely outcomes as a probabilistic function of the two species’ attributes within the battle environment. Attributes considered in calculating battle outcome include temperament, weaponry, armor, body mass, running speed, fight style, physiology, and motivation.”

I prefer to play according to alternative rules.

My favorite:

But I bet it’s Magikally delicious.

Telltale has announced a third season of The Walking Dead for later this year (via Mashable), in addition to new Minecraft episodes—three total—in 2016. The Walking Dead will reportedly pick up on threads from the last season, but in an “unexpected” way, whatever that means.

Commence to jigglin’!

12 oz. Mouse should have been #1, how is it not even on the list?

Most big markets use local guys in that time slot while the 10-1 is more syndicated nationally, so the guys get more airplay in this new slot than they did in the drivetime

“I told you those foreigners are so much smarter than our leaders. Our leaders are idiots! They’re so much better at making deals. I mean look at what they’re getting versus what we’re getting!” - TRUMP

Why Would Anyone Defend Greg Hardy?

“Raging homophobe” is a bit strong. From what he’s said on the subject, he’s got the very wrong-headed but much more understandable “Love the sinner, hate the sin” perspective that a lot of people have when they were raised very, very Christian.

Yes

I am the David “Lard Ass” Hogan of Kinja.

I pray your family’s bloodline ends with you because your regressive views are a scourge to anyone with an actual functioning brain. Fuck you and fuck the Cubs.

I hate being that guy, but Jesus, three times in six sentences?

More things that pre-date you and me:

Mets fans hardly brim with confidence. LOLMETS is like an actual thing.

Who cares about stupid replays like that, did you see that sweet advanced stat graphics package?!? Cespedes ran 24 mph! Woah! That’s pretty fast!