Old Aggie, new Belgium

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

I live in Ham Lake, and this is a terrifyingly accurate take. The volume of cul-du-sac cowboys in these here parts is mystifying. Congrats on your 12 trucks and zero retirement savings you corn cobs.

“-Randy and Tammy, MAGA turds from the northern suburbs who have a pickup truck value that exceeds their home value and took money out of Braedyn and Kymlynn’s college fund to renew their season tickets but “aren’t sure” if they’re going to still support the NFL if players keep kneeling”

The word “hero” gets tossed around a lot, but ...

On most other plays? Yeah, he got trucked by Miller often enough in that game (and the opener a few months later) that he probably still hears Von’s footsteps in the night. On THAT play, arguably one of the most important plays he’s ever been invovled in? Watch it again and tell me that’s a guy wanting to win at all…

What’s your beef here, Chuckles? Cam Newton plays a violent game and is the supposed leader of his team. It was the Super Bowl. They needed that possession to have a shot. And he Todd Pinkston’d his way to infamy in the most cowardly way possible. So instead of ragging on another internet commenter, why don’t you…

I assume he didn’t want to risk an injury that would prevent him from giving his post-game press conference in the really cool hat he had picked out.

The laptop that Cam Newton stole in college is technologically more advanced than 95% of North Carolina. 

I barely associate Deion with the Falcons since he won rings with the 49ers and Cowboys.

I’ll always remember Eugene Robinson (a good Christian family man) getting popped for prostitution the night before he was supposed to play in Super Bowl 33.

Very surprised Drew didn’t mention the 1972 Dolphins in his “what has always sucked” section. Those motherfuckers are the worst kind of Boomers, rooting for the failure of Millennials while spewing that “back in my day” bullshit.  

Point of contention, Drew! If Elway is the sober one at Dove Valley, then everyone else is super drunk. I have seen Elway in public exactly twice - once on a golf course and once while we were both waiting for our takeout at the same restaurant. He was HAMMERED both times.

Pretty accurate for Aurora (I say as a not-quite-middle-aged divorced dad)

I grew up in Aurora and have been away for about 20 years, but visit often. I greatly appreciate what many of the transplants brought to Denver over this time (and especially immigrants from other countries - we’ve always needed diversity.) There’s a whole bunch of hipster tropes to fall on what with the scooters…

I can totally confirm that Elway is a mega douche.

Colorado had a great run from about 2009-2014 where it got over the cow town hump to see interesting neighborhoods develop, opened actual restaurants that weren’t steakhouses, and emerged as a legit top 5 beer city in the US.

John Elway: We’ve hired a new coach, and he was the best in the league last year!

As a lifelong Broncos fan born and raised in Denver....I remain baffled that anyone thinks the Flacco move was a good one. He’s basically Case Keenum....but more expensive and more injury prone. I’m also not someone who thinks Drew Lock was a great pick, either. I mean, fine, 2nd round....so I don’t have a huge…