You don’t have cable or even a radio. (You delete the radio from your car?)  You on the welfare?

They’re free (or whatever) in the parking lot.  Fill up there.

Yeah, they can talk all the shit they want but I can’t wait until the Mets home opener. Opening Day is better than Christmas.

As far as my wife is concerned it’s not a visit to the park without a trip to Shake Shack. So even if I do everything else on the cheap, I’m on the hook for like $50 in there.

Imagine if there was a country in the Mediterranean with beautiful weather, a shit economy, and literal boatloads of poor third-world immigrants who desperately need no-skill jobs. Then imagine if that country actually invented the Olympics.

As long as this keep this shithead out of the HOF, I don’t care if they let the rest of the users in.

the Marlins will have $72.9 million in payroll commitments, which is roughly what the Mets are currently slated to pay next season

I couldn’t work from home. The orange and white cat would lying down on the keyboard and all over me all day.

I’m in advertising as well. There is a bit more collaboration in that I hear every single conversation going on and frequently interject with solutions. And it’s helpful to be able to just holler over to someone 10 feet away. But mostly it’s conducive to bullshitting and afternoon drinks.

Four years ago I had an office with a door I would lock for naps, and I could open the window and climb out onto a walkway and smoke cigars while looking at the Empire State Building. Now, despite having the same level of seniority, I am in an open work space bullpen with five people, surrounded by half-walls that…

The guy next to me has a fan pointed directly at himself. One of the high points of my day is floating an air biscuit into it and walking away. He hasn’t said anything yet.

A Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep Dealership nearby ran a newspaper ad touting “$13,000 off MSRP!!!” and made it look like all the cars on the lot had that deal, not just the $52,000 Ram near the headline. I tried to convince my wife that they were not going to sell her a new Wrangler for $22,000 but she insisted on calling…

The only people who use the new names are reporters, traffic copters, and the politicians. It’s been like 50 years and I defy you to find a New Yorker who calls 6th Ave “Avenue of the Americas”.

I just assumed that was a replica. Someone NY has one of the originals? That’s fantastic!!

Neither will Trump. If he even runs again. He will be completely out of steam this time next year.

Yeah, I was confused by this. We played a ton of wiffleball in college and we were all solid-to-really-good athletes. And guys struck out probably 1/3 of the time due to the Riser and massive curves dropping off a tabletop. It’s the whole reason the game exists!

My mom buried her parents in the local graveyard and paid for “perpetual care” of the site, which covered mowing and tending the grass, weeding and other maintenance, and “decoration” which I guess is flair like a little bouquet on holidays. Being old, retired and blessed with a lot of spare time without any…

I know something worse than slipping on a banana peel and a dead rat. Dog Poop. Did it twice when I was a kid. Running around a park and hit a slick and went flying. Must have been a big dog that got fed a lot of wet food both times. You ever try getting soft turds out of the treads of a new pair of Puma Clydes?

Canned San Marzano tomatoes were good enough for both my grandmothers, all my aunts, and Frankie from Rao’s; they’re good enough for me. That’s homemade.

My friend lives in Long Island and his school tax alone (for his very average crappy old house) is $13,000 a year. Hell, I live in NYC and we spend over $20K per student per year to churn out legions of imbeciles. Maybe we should focus on the insane waste instead of spending more and more and more and...