Personally, as somebody who has paid his bills cooking for way too long, I'd respond in one of two ways if somebody took my spatula and/or tongs while I was standing at the grill. I'd either A) deck him or B) thank my lucky stars I'M not cooking for a change, grab a beer or six and find a game to watch.

The classiest protest would be if we witness a same-sex make-out session on a podium... might we see a stubbly lipsmack become the upraised gloved fists of Olympic history circa 2014?

Well played. Crispy cheese is always a good decision...

Amen. I've worked hot lines for a decade, hour after hour with a steam well on one side and a broiler on the other, sweating balls in 140+ heat... and man, will I be happy when I belatedly finish my B.A. and can cook solely in the relative balminess of home.

Zing!

The real question? Why in the world did he have a lid on a pot of oil? If anyone learns anything from this, it is is... when deep-frying, NO LIDS. It is a surefire recipe for pressurized, overheated oil and a napalm-inspired trip to the hospital instead of a greasy-food-induced trip to the bathroom.

There are many benefits to mixing rather than segregating the vegetables on the kebab. Not only does it provide for greater serving convenience and a more attractive skewer, but cooking the vegetables together allows their flavors to marry together. In this case, the whole is indeed greater than the sum of the parts,…

Early historians such as Thucydides documented athletes taking mushrooms and potions prior to competing at the Olympic Games and other festivals in ancient Greece. Likewise, in the modern era of sport we can look back to Pud Galvin taking Brown-Sequard elixir in the late 1800s, the ultimate suspension of trainer Coppy…

Because I'm the "professional chef" among my friends and family, I more often than not am suckered into dealing with the turkey or whatever other protein is selected for that particular Thanksgiving dinner that year. (Most eclectic? The whole salmon I stuffed with wild rice and blueberries from the farm at which we…

Slow down there, maestro... there's a New Mexico?! Seriously, though, I had a roommate six or seven years ago when I first moved to Eugene who was from New Mexico. His mom would send two-gallon Zipbags freezer bags of green chilis monthly... pure joy for a cook to play with in all sorts of food.

Exactly. I liken coffee/caffeine to alcohol in that respect. the longer that caffeine/alcohol is exposed to heat, the more burns off. Youre still getting caffeine from a French roast, but you're getting 3-5% less per cup than you would from a light roast. However, just as with cooking down a wine, you're going to…

Worst burn I ever had came while I was working at a resort in Illinois. I was pulling pans of veal bones I had roasting in the oven for demiglace out to drain off the molten fat. One of the pans slipped... I managed to catch it and save all the bones, but I didn't manage to avoid the splashing veal grease.