Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

Or perhaps he has a history of making violent threats toward her — and following through on them, as she alleges — you weirdo.

“Dangerous Cousins”

“Hold my beer and disposable firearm that the police will never find”  Robert Blake

“I’m gonna ask you this one more time before I take it to another level,” the male voice says. “Can I have my son here?” When West says no, he responds, “I’m gonna make sure I put a bullet through your fucking head.”

Your grandpa sounds like a pretty cool guy

“DeMarcus? More like EFF Marcus!” - Rick Reilly, if he was still alive.

Amateur

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I once had to ice my knee and take off a day of work because I tried to get a playing card from under a table with my foot.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

Yeah dude, that’s a really weird and violent fantasy. I mean, you basically just described Alamo Drafthouse but without good beer or popcorn and instead heaps of disproportionate violence.

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

I felt really bad for O.J. Simpson until I remembered I don’t give a shit about anyone’s fantasy football team, and also that time he killed his ex-wife and a waiter.

Saying stupid shit got the current President elected, so I’m going to go with attribute.

Man, even the Broncos are crying. 

Having this come out right after Luck’s announcement is cruel and unusual punishment.

“The press really needs to move on from this story.”