Respect to those of you managing to insert humble brags into your meetings with fictitious characters.

“The future of America” story where the guy became a pharmacist may be my favourite so far.

Somebody isn’t taking the Tim Duncan retirement news well.

You don’t understand addiction if your definition of ‘high’ is that glib.

Nice try, Tre Watson.

Can I just say ‘Fuck Tre Watson’...stay in your own mother fucking lane.

I’ve seen this movie too many times not to vote for this. Fuck my middle aged life.

Hample’s father was in the Navy and wrote children’s books. Hample steals tickets from the military and baseballs from children. Fucking douchebag.

‘I didn’t idolize him...I just took the entirety of my 4th of July holiday to stand outside of a closed arena with a hand painted sign while the remainder of my family and friends enjoy time together.’

This guy should move to Boston.

Rodney trying to gain the approval of the wrestlers by rocking that fanny pack.

I think Trump is an asshole like the rest of you but doesn’t this sound like some made up bullshit? Who the fuck was putting a shift on a grade six batter in the 50's-60's?

I believe that’s why they have a D-League.

So the fifteen minutes are finally over?

I’m willing to bet that every one of those books beside Simmons is a differently sized version of The Big Book of Basketball.

“Please, I beat my nephew way worse than that” - Hope Solo
“GAHRGSJHRRDISGHDSHUD where is my car?!?!” - Abby Wambach

Spot the REAL FOOTIE FAN:
- Swastika tattoos? Check
- Shirt off? Check
- Cargo shorts? Check
- Sweating profusely? Check
- Sweet set of tits? Double check.

Because second place makes you a ‘Hit Queen’? Pull your head out of your ass Pete, you troglodyte.

I think I might begin all of my future Deadspin posts with:

“Fill discosure: I make 6 figures” - I said no mustard.

Seriously....

His stumps kind of look like a couple of Earthworm Jim’s.

Your barometer for beautiful arenas can’t be very high if the ACC is at the top of your list.