Maybe one individual's choice doesn't harm other people, but if everyone makes the same "choice," then it becomes a lot harder for people to choose differently. That's the harm we're talking about here. That doesn't mean I can pretend to know Amal Clooney's reasons for choosing to take her husband's last…

As I see it, being critical of something isn't the same as shaming—or at least, it shouldn't be. None of us knows Amal Clooney's reasons for changing her name. Some women do it because of internalized patriarchy; some women do it because they like the new name better; some do it because they've experienced abuse or…

I think it reinforces the fact that women should be able to do whatever they want without being judged for it.

I wonder if this works, in part, because people are already used to paying an "optional" charge when they eat out, in the form of tipping. It's technically optional—at least, the amount you pay is—but it's governed by social norms about what's an appropriate amount. I know some people are resentful of the pressure to…

I'm always charmed when someone brings out an obscure or weird—but totally appropriate—insult. A recent example was in Orphan Black, when one character called another a "turnip" (being intentionally vague to avoid spoilers here!). It gave me pause, but then I thought YES - "turnip" perfectly captures something about…

I'm glad to hear that he's spoken about this with a bit more nuance in the past... on the other hand, it's frustrating that he thinks eliminating that nuance is a way to score political points. Sigh.

Not to be that person, but since this is a space that tries to be inclusive and thoughtful about language (note: I said tries...that doesn't mean we always succeed), could we not use the word "fucktard" here? It's basically just a reworking of "retard," which I think most people agree is some messed up ableist…

That makes a lot of sense. I thought you meant it was benevolent sexism toward the men, which would be confusing (because benevolent sexism works by giving someone faux compliments to maintain the gender order—and, at least on the face of it, calling guys stupid isn't much of a compliment). But yes, I agree, the…

Dumbness isn't what keeps men from cleaning-it's not exactly brain surgery. What keeps them from cleaning is laziness.

I agree that the "women are so smart, they're the only ones who can figure out how to wash the floor" is benevolent sexism (toward women), but isn't it just sexism/misandry toward the men who, by implication, are stupid and immature?

I agree, with regard to social pressures and traditional gender norms. But it seems to me, in an ideal world none of us would clean house for weird, status-obsessed, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses reasons—we'd do it in order to make our homes comfortable and accessible for the people we live with. Because it's the…

I know we like to joke about misandry and male tears and all that, but you know what's actually misandry? Claiming that men aren't as smart as women, and that they can't possibly be expected to know how to act like adults. And it's coming from the (male) President of the U.S. of A.

I particularly appreciate how the twerking changes to match the lyrics, including pure poetry like "spread that jelly, spread it good." Fun fact: last year, Big Freedia set the Guinness World Record for assembling the largest simultaneous twerking event—more than 300 people twerking in unison for 2 minutes.

Mesmerizing. I'd also add PuPaul & Big Freedia's "Peanut Butter" for your consideration.

This is exactly what Starling was writing about in this excellent post back in 2009, on the fabulous blog Shapely Prose (RIP Shapely Prose). She called it "Schrodinger's Rapist," and it was about precisely this phenomenon of men putting their wants and needs over those of women, even when they realized that the woman…

That perfume is just getting too darned uppity, and needed to be taken down a few pegs! ... On the other hand, I totally get (and agree with) what you're saying about people on the internet being kind of awful about distinguishing between "not for me" and "this thing sucks and no one should like it". It doesn't make…

If I were a person who was really into perfumes (I wear a scent sometimes, but I'm not particularly knowledgeable or excited about them), I think I'd want to know what it is about the scent of this perfume that makes it so darned expensive. I mean, I'm really into Guitar Hero recently, and I'd be excited about a new…

You're right about Tuskegee, but there's more to it than what you've mentioned. For example, not only were the participants in the Tuskegee experiments not receiving treatment, they were actively blocked from seeking treatment elsewhere; the experiment continued even after penicillin was widely available, and the…

In fact, science agrees with you! Sociologist Jennifer Reich's recent article in Gender & Society finds that middle- and upper-class families are the most likely to refuse vaccines on principle. http://www.socwomen.org/2014/08/26/pr6…

I get as irritated as the next person when one of my FB friends posts a rant about "toxins," autism-causing vaccines, or some other ominous, vaguely sourced health claim. However, looking at the actual medical conspiracies that the researchers tested, I'd argue that this study shows something more than, simply,…