Yes, I'm not from Texas, and I'm saying that your priorities in Texas where grown men drive for hours to watch teenage boys play school sports are seriously out of whack and there is something wrong with you.

I went to college, yes, but not in this country — in most other countries, colleges are places of higher education rather than minor-league sports franchises — but this article was about high school.

Let's see ... I'm an adult who has a job and a mortgage, it's Friday night ... I know! I'm going to watch some schoolchildren play football!

Please note the "fiction" part of "science fiction". It's not real.

These are like the DHF stories with all the titillation removed. "And then we met this other guy and then we were at the restaurant and the guy was there and then there was this girl and she said to the guy and WHO THE FUCK CARES."

Seems like his ribcage was violated. Will he consent to sitting on the sideline? Rape.

It's like no-one's ever noticed that the standings table has three columns. That teams' records are given in the format W-L-T. That they explain the rules before the coin flip every time a game goes to OT.

All hail me! I am great. So, what do I win?

I have a feeling about Florida. I say Obama wins 332 - 206.

That was followed up by the entire brain trust saying how he had just rolled his ankle, he's a competitor, he'll rub some dirt on it and be out there tomorrow, etc., etc. Then they cut directly to Joe Girardi, starkly saying "he fractured his ankle. He's out."

"Step three, with 'bitch' drop the 'T' / 'cause 'bich' is the Latin for generosity"

We get told the same thing about synchronized swimming every four years and my feeling is the same: I don't care how easy or hard it is; it's stupid.

Funny attempt correction gone bad — why would you trade your "DVDs" in for gold? You might trade in your "CDs" — i.e. certificates of deposit — for another investment, but you can't upgrade those CDs to DVDs ...

I wonder how long the oxygen flow to the brain has to be interrupted before you find yourself writing this sentence: "As the English monarchy becomes little more than a tourism-driven cliché, the identity of Great Britain begins to fade."