Seems like his ribcage was violated. Will he consent to sitting on the sideline? Rape.

It's like no-one's ever noticed that the standings table has three columns. That teams' records are given in the format W-L-T. That they explain the rules before the coin flip every time a game goes to OT.

All hail me! I am great. So, what do I win?

I have a feeling about Florida. I say Obama wins 332 - 206.

That was followed up by the entire brain trust saying how he had just rolled his ankle, he's a competitor, he'll rub some dirt on it and be out there tomorrow, etc., etc. Then they cut directly to Joe Girardi, starkly saying "he fractured his ankle. He's out."

"Step three, with 'bitch' drop the 'T' / 'cause 'bich' is the Latin for generosity"

We get told the same thing about synchronized swimming every four years and my feeling is the same: I don't care how easy or hard it is; it's stupid.

Funny attempt correction gone bad — why would you trade your "DVDs" in for gold? You might trade in your "CDs" — i.e. certificates of deposit — for another investment, but you can't upgrade those CDs to DVDs ...

I wonder how long the oxygen flow to the brain has to be interrupted before you find yourself writing this sentence: "As the English monarchy becomes little more than a tourism-driven cliché, the identity of Great Britain begins to fade."