The one and only acceptable lie on a resume is in the "by omission" category.

Our chief concern is how the, now, 2nd generation of the Keurig machines got brought into the mix.

This IS tremendously clever - I'd suggest it at my workplace but they replaced coffee-makers with those god-awful pod things.

Don't forget to mute your mic so, if you accidentally spill a water bottle while moving it out of the way, you don't yell "Oh SHIT!!" into the teleconference. {blushing} Just sayin'

It was a meter of sorts that would be added to their delivery vehicles to track certain metrics. The production version (system and meters) they purchased used satellite communications so I spent a good deal of time on their corp HQ's roof doing further proof of concepts. I found out years later the CEO didn't…

Ah the "Let's see if THIS works" rule! That's how I live. I spent a rockin' 7 years as a consultant with a company where the "on the floor" corporate culture was "run from side projects!!!" while the management group almost BEGGED people to think like that.

We have a variant of it - a little extra each day the 1st week and one day off every 2nd week (ie every 2nd Fri off - you choose the day but you're stuck with it.)

Ahh, Dalhousie Univ - my alma mater. Go Tigers!

I know, it freaks me out I was just pulling together a business model for an after hours thing this morning.

"Only 2 bolts left over - that's better than the last one!"

I'm a gay man in my early 50's and even I thought - "Oh, buddy, friends don't let friends live STUNNED."

About 100 years ago, I got my first IT job - junior programmer for the university I was attending at the time. I started on a Wednesday and the lead, Dave, spend Wed-Fri showing me where the sources were located, how compiles were done, how to do the paperwork to promote the production, the usual stuff.

By popular request I should probably have the world's first "open casket cremation."

When I get a 'sent from my ....' message, that person gets classified with people who's phone beep each time they key a letter into a text message: semi-literates who simply just don't know how to turn them off.

Well now I can't. HA!

I've been using this technique for quite a while. A few sites (and my job's network security) need a cap or two and a number or two. I usually use a rule like "cap each word and the 1st vowel of 2nd word is a number" giving me something like: "GreasedD1rtyMemories"

My philosophy: Whether or not they're working for minimum wage or less, I'd still tip. (And if it was outlawed, I guess I'd still break the law.) I hate cooking, I hate washing dishes even more.

I tried most of them and settled into Feedly. I was a VERY VERY basic user of Reader - only starred by accident and, being a bad boy who doesn't play well with others, never shared.

Whenever someone's working from home, I always picture them dressed like this:

A few jobs ago, one of my co-workers (I'll call her "T") was a take-charge kind of person: active, strong, pilot's license. One Monday, she arrived, no makeup, hair destroyed, red rimmed eyes, voice sounded like it was about to break. Everyone else decided I should be the one to ask so they gave us a few cubes of…