I will henceforth imagine Kelly Cutrone entering all rooms everywhere to the tune of Ludacris’ Move, Bitch.

“My Emperor,

You are unclothed. Bare as the day you were born. As your naked resplendence is too much for the mortal eye to bear, so mine eyes must turn from your glory, and toward mundanity. I shall walk forever in the shadow of your toadstool, ne’er again to turn my head toward the fires of your Scrotal Sodom, lest…

No problem. Wanna hit up a trolley stop later?

I just want to have sex with someone that truly loves me, I don’t know how that feels.

I was stumbling by a trolley stop on the way home from a party in the wee hours of the morning. I saw a girl at the trolley stop and I said some lame pick up line. Before I knew it we were engaged in flagrante delicto right there on the trolley stop bench. I can only imagine how disgusting this must have been to…

Sadly yes.

Not sure what you mean by this but have a star anyway, it’s Friday. 

What's sex lol.

A trolley stop in Upper Darby PA at around 3am with a complete stranger. I am not proud. 

I’ve got another one.

Because the rats won’t pay for it.

Why don’t they just build a wall?

DERELICKT MY BALLS

Wait, it was supposedly torn down last year. We’re talking about the structure in Arlington, correct?

I’d probably do the same given the opportunity ... how else are you supposed nerd level up ? 

Seriously. Headline: “Breaking: Hollywood Father Compliments Daughter In Normal Way, more at 11"

Yeah, it’s like the least-weird thing Travolta has said in a very long time.

A father says the nicest, least narcissitic, least sexist things, about his daughter in public and somehow that’s...weird? And taking credit for her doing well?

Really? We’re going to use the cutesy “joke” of women and alcoholism to get through the day rather than admit your partner thinks laundry and diapers aren’t his responsibilities?

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,