JUST TENDING THE INCUBUS, MOTHER

“... Flying over trout?”

Bambi, people are basically good... nope, check that.

OH look, they parked next to a data stream

Do you live near DC because I would like to hire you to do this for me. The “idiot” part sounds like SO MUCH FUN and I’m not even kidding.

YES!  Thank you!  I forgot the part where she got the house back, and now I’m happy for her all over again. :)

RIGHT?!  “might” sounds like a threat and I will meet that threat with the promise of one million re-tweets.  (Is that how twitter works because I do not typically twit)

The itching... the burning. Better put some peroxide on it. Smucker’s brand peroxide.

oeh tenk yoo zo mush! ie em beeg fheshun mawdell zat in zo meny runway et mahgezeen!  awailabeel 4 smol mahnez, ol tiem.  

I’m getting an AirBNB for the first time ever this coming weekend for my sister’s wedding, and it’s a loft above a consignment store.  This is only a nightmare for my wallet, I hope, given that I plan to clean out the store.

Dammit I did not mean “very fine people” in its current political iteration, apologies, and now I can’t edit, and everything is awful

I fear you.  I once read a story about getting revenge by putting raw shrimp inside the curtain rods, and now I’m convinced you wrote it, and I am grateful.

You’re gonna be just fine. :)

I recently learned this was a thing and agree, this can come after the papercuts and before the fire.  You are some very fine people.  

Assuming you have a healthy baby, a supportive partner, and are emotionally well (all things considered) after giving birth, yes, you should be just fine. Those are a lot of assumptions, however, and many people who did not have those things like to pass along their ... experience. Consider the source. I calmed myself…

Oh, I am going full “MA’AM” on them come tuesday morning.  It will not be merciful.

I like it. Can I sharpen old bills so they potentially become infected with whatever diseases are on old money, and also fecal and cocaine residue, suffering just *that* much more on their journey to death?

For my first payment on a newly financed household item, I was to be charged $45.48, but instead was charged $4,548.00 ... and was then told that it was a “clerical error” and they might be able to reverse the charge on Tuesday. Yes... Tuesday. So, logically, I’ve come here to ask: how should they die?

I don’t know what a “travelator” is, but assuming it’s like an escalator, all I could think during this story was “holy shit, her hair, I hope her hair is tied back”

And be supportive.